Saturday, November 11, 2017

Letter to My Future Self at 82

Tell me Future Self...

I don’t know if you will be a Dearie or a Hot Mama but I am curious as to what else you know now.
Did you decide to eat chocolate every day, because you are certainly headed that way
Is brandy a regular part of your evening or still used specifically for “medicinal” purposes?
Is red wine enjoyed from Friday to Sunday…only?

Did you ever get to Stonehenge? Run your finger down the ancient stones of century old castles?
Have you ever been in a car stopped by a sheep crossing the road (just like in that movie whatever it’s called)
Did you ever tell someone “You Can’t Be SERIOUS?” because they are just plain stupid?
Do you still enjoy seeing cute young men that walk with an obvious swagger, because life has not disappointed them yet
Have you ever winked at one (or more) or them?
Do overly animated “look-at-me” people still make you bonkers?
Or have you grown more still, but say “idiot” in your mind
Or are you just too deaf to hear them?
Does the sweetness of a sunrise, make you think of heaven, whatever that might be to you
And the fresh smell of a baby make you close your eyes with wonder
Do you still love to read, do you have a waitlist at the library
Do you discard and return the book someone recommended because it is just trash in your eyes
Oh, please tell me that you are no longer THAT polite to struggle through

I don't have to be what you want me to be. 
I'm free to be who I want. 
Muhammad Ali

Ah, thank you for this time together my 20 years down the road self
I hear your voice telling me, poking me, to be More
I’ve decided, you are definitely a hot mama.

Saturday, November 4, 2017

Winter Onset

Last week in my home town it was 25°C, in the last few days it has plummeted to -11°C. Our weather can be a wonderful surprise in the northern hemisphere, even though we do anticipate winter arriving. You might have read my summer post about heat just a few months ago.

Winter Onset
a few thoughts on Winter's arrival...

The onset of winter makes me want to pull out my crock-pot. To simmer and stir and let the aroma of stew fill the air.
It beckons me towards the fireplace, stretching my legs towards the coffee table, wrapped in a blanket and glancing out the windows.
I feel the stirrings of creativity, of unfolding my copy of Bella Grace and settling in with a brandy.
Of unpacking the bags of buttons, and chains, embellishments and silk ribbon
And creating something from nothing.

I want to cocoon and write, I’d paint if I could
As I watch the snow drift into the corners between the buildings
Or watching it swirl in the halos of the street lights.

I hear the swish of tires against the wet roads, and try to judge if they are going uphill or downhill and how fast
Because that will tell me if the traffic is slowing down or if it is getting icy as the temperature drops.

I want to catch up with old shows I’ve recorded and discard some others I was using to fill in the lazy summer gaps
I need to slow down to appreciate the warmth of the indoors and that I have red boots that disguise the cold outside
To wear layers, pull on a hat, add a scarf that matches and watch my breath in misty clouds as it disappears into nothing

I sit and...

Watch as each house lights up its windows as the skies darken
And others gather around the hearth of their own making

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Unpacking Yourself with Self-Confidence

There is a family whom we know who are off on a grand 12 month adventure. We’re looking to find our way, Lily says, without knowing anyone except each other.

Have confidence that if you have done a little thing well, 
you can do a bigger thing well too.

Courtesy of TookaPic - Pixabay

Mum and Dad are each brilliant in their own way. David has dedicated 20 years of working for someone else and will be examining how he will play out the rest of his working time. Lily, worked one year as a teacher and then stayed home to raise their three children. 

The almost six year old Livie will be heading to a “big” school at the end of this trip, thirteen year old Daisy is not thrilled about leaving her friends for places with no shopping malls, and fifteen year old Jared only wears black graphic t-shirts and jeans and is lost without his computer. 

They are for the most part a normal family that you too have living on your street.

Lily has her camera packed. She has taken up a recent interest in photography and although she considers herself quite creative, the mumbo jumbo technical stuff is what mystifies her. She’s excited to have so many opportunities to practise her book-learned skills. 

David is a note-taker, he has already bought twelve identical black notebooks which he has painstakingly divided into the calendar days of every month they will be away.

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Don't Want to Be the One Everyone is Waiting For

Don't Want to Be the One Everyone is Waiting For

It's safe to be in the middle of the pack. Anonymous. Not taking the responsibility of leading, or taking any blame. But when you're the anything, you feel differently.

The last one running for the bus. The last one in line. The last one to arrive.

In this Science of Us article on the NY Mag site we can take a short quiz to see our level of Impostor-worry. Whether we feel like a fraud or just a general clod, let’s face it, we all face the fear in different circumstances. 

Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to waltz into a room and give a five-minute impromptu speech? Wouldn’t it be amazing to do your first half-marathon and finish ahead of many other competitors who trained diligently? 

I have a friend who is a wonderful singer and pianist, her downfall, she can’t dance! Who would have thought that someone who loves music, couldn't dance? When she and her husband went for dancing lessons, their teacher suggested practising in the bathtub, to tame her down a bit. It seems my friend took steps that were out of control.

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Autumn Leaves

Autumn Leaves

Just six years old and crossing an ocean from a country which had no falling leaves. This might be when he taught me the words.

Today it got windy, the yellow and orange leaves were being pulled from tree branches. They raced in crazy swirling patterns and then clung to the car windows while I drove home. They gathered in messy soggy piles along the sides of the roads as the rain started to pelted down.

The clouds became inky and yet the golden leaves dotted and filled the skies.

And I heard singing. From long ago. No doubt off key as only a child can do happily.

This is the most beautiful version of the song that my Dad and I used to sing together. We did it with Nat King Cole but Eva reaches into your soul, don't you think?