The Little Story

The Ripple of our Life - Grassi Lakes, Canmore

Our stories have no beginning and no end. It’s mysterious, and downright spooky sometimes how people come into and then leave your life. Sometimes they travel great distances with you, and sometimes you are connected and don’t even know it. The joy of connection cannot be forced, it is magical, it is unexpected, it is to be celebrated.

That is how the curly haired girl, Merrick, Grace, Ollie and She that we all know came to be. But even make believe characters take a break. 

We all need to redefine, and reemerge into something new. At times we are forced into it, whether it be the end of a work term, a health crisis or a pending divorce. But we are always given the gift to choose our reaction, and the ability (however difficult) to step back and consciously set our next path.

Choosing our Reaction - Grassi Lakes, Canmore

If you haven’t had a chance to see this story unfold, I hope you will enjoy it. And like me, also anticipate the next connection!

Act
No Longer an Act
Grace
Blown in Glass
Transparent Houses
Ollie
Her
Reflected in Coffee
Clouded Poetry
Turning Back the Pages of Time
Crumpled dreams
Some kind of progress

Anticipate the next connection. (Click to Tweet)

                                                   

Waiting

Many of my friends in spite of being happy for me when I met the most wonderful man, were disappointed that my on-line dating stories had come to an end. When you’re in the “mature” category, it is a true gift to meet such an incredible match.

My friend J. still shakes her head at the “drooling man” I met, who had presented himself with a 10 year old photo. And H. couldn’t believe when I shared the story of meeting someone who actually lived at the drop-in shelter (but by golly, he could spell, use proper grammar and punctuate). OK, they weren’t all bad, although some were exceptionally odd. I did meet some lovely men, but I wasn’t ready, they weren’t ready and for the best reason of all we were not a match. The best reason, I speak of is patience.

Then one day, (it was actually right after the “highly medicated drooling man”) I took myself to a local shopping mall and then drove and drove in circles, looking for a spot to park. Then I had a talk with God/the Universe. “OK” I said, “what’s going on? Where the heck is he? Am I supposed to be alone? What am I doing wrong?”

Then right in front of me, a car pulled in and like a lightening bolt from the Universe (because sometimes we need the obvious!) I saw the car’s license plate. It said “Timing”.

I waited and got ready and had patience while my super, fantastic man waited and got ready. 

Now, I give thanks each day as I savour, relish and bask in our lives together. I can now see the humour in my Saturday morning coffee-dates.  I realize that I was being prepared by the men who allowed me to pay for my own coffee, asked way too many personal questions, who showed up at the wrong location, who whined about their exes and those who were still in love with their exes. I was being given the opportunity to appreciate what I was worth and to wait for someone who was worth waiting for.

For all of you out there waiting, be with the breath and allow. I can’t promise you anything except that the day will come when you too will give thanks.

(And because I know you’re asking, no! my wonderful man does not have a brother.)

Waiting for Better

This is for you. 

Letting time pass to set a history is a good thing. Invariably the good people will stay good, and those that are not will also be revealed. But waiting and waiting can be just an avoidance that creates deeper pain. We say we want to be happy but remain in situations that we know prevent us from being so? It is honorable to give someone the benefit of the doubt, no one wants to be judged by one single act. However, we are sometimes so stuck, so paralyzed by our fear of the unknown that we cannot move out of a situation that does not honour ourselves.

We put up, and we shut up. 

Life has a way of teaching us the lessons we need. We will each get them to teach us in the way that matters most, the inconsiderate "friend", a (lack of a better term) crazy partner, an idiot boss. What will we let that person get away with? Why do we let them do what they do? The nonsense this person hands out will keep escalating until even you can't ignore the volume. The cosmic 2 by 4 will finally stop you in your tracks.

Then one day, you will know with no doubt in your mind that you are “done”. It could be caused by something catastrophic or something small, but it will happen when you are ready and have the courage to move on.

Have faith, you will survive. You will no longer be able to deny the proof.

And on that day, you will love yourself a little more and not let it happen again. Don't lose yourself in the battle and until then be safe, be well.

Fog

I was admittedly distracted this morning as I made my at an unusual time to an infrequent (thank goodness!) location.

Good health has been a blessing in my life and attending even the pre-appointment for a "procedure" requires some meditation and deep breathing.

And that is how I found myself at a stop light quite oblivious as to how I had gotten there. "Being in the moment" surely does not include putting your car on autopilot. (Although how is it that our cars do sometimes drive themselves to the location we want? Come on, I know you've done it too!)

When I shook my way out of my reverie I saw a white Yaris changing lanes more often than was necessary (slow down buddy), an orange Durango with its hood up at the side of the road (note to self - get gas on the way home) and a cream coloured BMW 325i with an almost-rusted-through passenger side that was probably quite pretty at some point.

The woman beside me was talking over her right shoulder. Her car held at least three children who were badly in need of orthodontic work. "Good luck" I say silently, "there go some of your vacation plans".

And so we all travelled in the same direction for those moments in time, even though our destinations were all quite different. I wonder what each of those drivers thought when they saw me?

Let it Be

Have you ever noticed how long it takes for a kettle to boil while you are standing beside it? Does it seem terribly long to you?

When we're waiting in line for the microwave in the Staffroom, does the time seem to go especially slowly, while someone else's lunch is heating up?

Why do holidays go so fast, but the day at our desk go so slowly?

Everything is relative!

We plan, and shop and prepare a meal for what seems like ages, and then POOF! our family gobbles it down at warp speed. Airplane rides can take an eternity, but your Corona/Margarita/Wine disappear instantly. (A bad sign, best left for a later story.)

Every minute has but 60 seconds, how we spend them, is up to us.

We can tap our foot to make time pass, or "Be" in the moment and let the next one happen on its own.

Recharge by turning off the clock/music/iPod/iPad/Playbook or TV. You will hear the most incredible things.

Opportunities - to be Good or Not

In Marina Endicott's "Good To a Fault", you are instantly thrown into a situation to make a decision. Will I like this character, her seemingly mundane life and the mess she finds herself in?

I encourage you to continue reading and to enjoy the beauty of the "everyday". Characters so filled with flaws that they are utterly human, no pretense, no false attempt at perfection, just like you and me.

Endicott's pages are filled with the undercurrent belief that we will all discover that "The window of time when you could do anything was so brief". Clara, the main character makes her decision and from that point the story writes itself, beautifully, with laughter and with intense pain.

It is a book so human, because the Universe dictates that "Fear is always with us; that we are not good enough or strong enough, and so will fail; that we will be hurt. Fear that what we love will be taken from us. Fear of dying, even fear of God, or of no God."

Snippets

She was already what I would call “tall”, but with her pom-pom hat she must have been 6 ½ feet. (She walked fast!)

Young Russian couple; she leaned into him when the train lurched with the ease of someone who knows she will be taken care of.

University friends, reacquainted. She’s doing a practicum, talking about the easy day she had yesterday. My back is to them, but I could easily follow their conversation. Great to see you, let’s get together. She gets off. As we ride along, I was rotated, now I could see the scruffy face that went with his voice. From the top of his too-large parka, I catch a glimpse of the “S” of a worn out Superman t-shirt. His pants are frayed. Chances are the drink over the Holidays will never happen.

Beautiful in black from head to toe, how wonderful to add orange tights. To be so young.

She’s heading towards me, talking on her cell. She stops to speak. “What can I do about someone who almost ran me over?” she says. I hope she was talking to the Police.

Red light. “So I said to him, ask her what her dress looks like”. “What?” He says to me, “I don’t want to know”. “I know YOU don’t want to know”, she says, “but I want to know. I need to know HOW dressed up people are going to be. Do you think that’s weird?” “ Definitely not”, says her friend. And another Christmas party dress dilemma will be ironed out.

He's carrying a pink Holt Renfrew lunch bag in one hand and a garbage bag full of crumpled pastel coloured shirts in the other. The tassels on his stylish loafers lie frozen in an odd position.

The snow is starting to accumulate, and I am grateful that I have reached my destination.

A handsome, young man wearing a polka dot tie (which seems like an act of defiance to the gathering snowflakes) smiles and opens the door for me. Ah, now my work day can begin.

The Field

We start out with the best intentions, and then get way laid by life. Sometimes it’s big things, like a family that moves just as we are about to launch our stuff in the high school drama club, sometimes it’s a run-away parent, a broken leg prior to the big game, or a broken marriage.

Surprisingly enough, it can also be small things, a missed bus makes us late for an interview for a job we would clearly have hated, a flat tire takes us to a coffee shop where we reacquaint with an old high school friend. How many times do we think that we’re going in one direction and then find out it is taking us to something better? I know a man who ruined an Achilles tendon running, and then took up yoga to rectify it.

I took up yoga on the advice of a friend who said that 50+ was not too old to start! Through my 134 yoga visits of stretching, bending, and flowing, I have learned more than I can explain. That breathing through the learning really does help, how our body teaches patience and then rallies to our demands, how the joy of finally getting the asana can carry you for an entire day. Even though it’s nice to be naughty, how much are you willing to do to be good? Will you stick to the surprise ending to see how far it can take you? Even though my 184.5 hours of yoga are a far cry from Malcolm Gladwell’s 10,000 hours to greatness (Outliers, 2008), I am a better person because of it. I have a long way to go but as Rumi said "Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I will meet you there."

The Universe conspired to bring a wounded runner to an unsuspecting soul, and it gave me someone who makes me smile every day.

Together we have balanced, OOOMMM’d, twisted, and seen the room upside down. We have grown stronger and more flexible together. We could sit together endlessly under a Bodhi tree. Namaste to Rob, Tamara, Tom, Deanna and many others for being a part of our story.