Stressed in a very expensive dress

It takes a lot of effort to be someone else. Being someone you are not is hard on you, because not honouring yourself is the worst kind of untruth.

How we “dress up” is up each day is up to us. We do what we have to allow the world to identify us in a crowd. We shouldn't ever want to camouflage our uniqueness but we also don’t want to frighten someone away with our “inner beauty”. Beware of disguise.

I have been pleasantly surprised by the inked and tattooed, wearing laced up combat boots; he was a soft spoken young man who was taught well to be polite by his Mama. His spiky hair did get him attention, and if I had seen him in a less safe environment, I would have crossed the street and held my possessions closer.

Then there was the very obvious showing-off-all-the-assets woman, who was strikingly unaware of the impression she gave. She wore skin-tight black every day and in combination with the bleached blonde hair, she was definitely noticeable. However, she had the soul of an angel. I worked with this woman for  four years and not once did I see her behave in any way other than nice. However, I wonder how many people did not approach her because they were less tolerant. She missed out on an interaction and they missed out on discovering someone sweet and shy in disguise.

I think of these two people, and I wonder who convinced them that they weren't enough. That they had to hide their true kind and wonderful self.

Both these people learned to put on a protective armour to protect themselves. Knowing full well that they might be scaring someone else away. This is a battle with no winner.

Don’t do it! Please. I know it is tough when you have limited practise. But be brave to be yourself. The world needs YOU.

Waiting for Better

This is for you. 

Letting time pass to set a history is a good thing. Invariably the good people will stay good, and those that are not will also be revealed. But waiting and waiting can be just an avoidance that creates deeper pain. We say we want to be happy but remain in situations that we know prevent us from being so? It is honorable to give someone the benefit of the doubt, no one wants to be judged by one single act. However, we are sometimes so stuck, so paralyzed by our fear of the unknown that we cannot move out of a situation that does not honour ourselves.

We put up, and we shut up. 

Life has a way of teaching us the lessons we need. We will each get them to teach us in the way that matters most, the inconsiderate "friend", a (lack of a better term) crazy partner, an idiot boss. What will we let that person get away with? Why do we let them do what they do? The nonsense this person hands out will keep escalating until even you can't ignore the volume. The cosmic 2 by 4 will finally stop you in your tracks.

Then one day, you will know with no doubt in your mind that you are “done”. It could be caused by something catastrophic or something small, but it will happen when you are ready and have the courage to move on.

Have faith, you will survive. You will no longer be able to deny the proof.

And on that day, you will love yourself a little more and not let it happen again. Don't lose yourself in the battle and until then be safe, be well.