Happy Victim or Accepted Wisdom

We all know them. The person who appears to relish what they perceive as their troubles.

In fact, they wear their unhappiness with pride. If you dare to say that you have a migraine, well, they will tell you that they once had a migraine that lasted a week! They can always out-do you. You know someone like this, don't you?

Cold day. Wasa Lake Triathlon  Happy Victim or Accepted Wisdom

Some find the construction to work each day unbearable. Some just don't like the weather, because even if it's sunny right now...it's going to rain later this week.
Some cannot let go of grievances from decades ago. Or they might carry the burden of a childhood battle on the playground. They wear these "injustices" like a badge of honour. And you keep hearing about those inflictions over and over and over.

They do not acknowledge when you are tired or injured or worried. Their problems or anticipation of difficulties is much more concerning than yours. Why don't they ask how you are doing? Could it be that they just don't want to know? Yes, they might be sad but they are also selfish. They believe that the world does indeed revolve around them.

They whine and complain, they do not resolve. They discuss and re-hash and then share again. They do not want your help. All they want is airspace.

They can be boring. Their conversations and gossip are relentless, the stories are frivolous and shallow.

Why Volunteer?

People ask me why I volunteer when I already have a full life. How do you fit it in?, they ask. My answer, How could I not?

Here’s a story about what I receive from volunteering.

Why Volunteer?

Anyone who knows me, knows how much I like words. The flow of a sentence that deems a sticky note on the side of the page. The quote that must be saved for future use. The image created by the words that are seared into your mind.

We all know that instant when you meet someone who has stayed in the same hostel you did in Machu Picchu, or someone who puts potato chips into their sandwich as you do. It is that kind of bond with a fellow word lover.

I met a lovely lady two decades my senior, dressed in a fashionable red jacket with ornate buttons, who loves words too. In our conversation about the type of books we prefer (non-fiction) we also discovered that we were both introverts, and liked garage sales. We talked about meditation, and simple living and connections however tenuous they might be with some family members. We both read because we both want to learn.

Again and Again, 3 Ways for Compassion and Wisdom

Again and Again, 3 Ways for Compassion and Wisdom

In a conversation with a woman 20 years my junior, I learned something again.

I remembered being her age and feeling that I was quite wise, just as she shared with me. She explained how she grew up in a family where she felt she had been misunderstood. Where her brothers were the focus and as the youngest and... a girl, not much was expected of her.

As her story was told, her brothers grew to adulthood being spoiled by doting parents while she buried herself in her books. She eventually outgrew her brothers and became a physician. And yet, she had no voice. The confident, smart person who could teach others could not find her voice in the company of her family.

She told me that she had been working on her personal growth for awhile now and felt that now that she was forty she was "pretty well okay".

Ah, I thought to myself. How do I tell her? Would I have listened in my younger years to anyone who told me that personal growth goes on forever. That each day, turns into a string of weeks and given the gift of time, we have the chance to keep learning about human behaviour.

Sharing your light

Growing up while shopping with my Dad, I knew where he was by the sound of his whistling. I couldn’t always identify the tune but I knew that he was nearby. It’s a sound that continues to give me comfort and a sense of connection.

Being mindful of energy consumption, many spaces have lights that dim when it senses that there is no movement within. This of course is difficult for some of us who don’t fidget excessively. It means that when I am concentrating (too long!) I sometimes have to leave my desk to turn the lights back on.

Our washroom space is that way too. Entering that dark space the other day, I waved my arms and bopped to some imaginary music to get the lights to turn on. I wonder what else you could do to “light up the place”? Perhaps you could cha-cha on your way inside, or tango, cartwheel or do the 'gangsta' walk.

How do you bring light to your world each day? Are you the first one in who starts up the coffee? Are you the Concierge who greets everyone with the biggest smile each morning? Do you give your fellow travellers a smile while you sing out loud while driving? Or do you cartwheel?

Thank you to the Security person who was in my parkade today. I so enjoyed listening to you whistle Amazing Grace.

Year End 2011

It is with some difficulty that some of us turn this last page of the calendar. How could it have gone so fast,although some days seemed endless, while we waited for tomorrow to come.

How many things did we get to "check off" our lists and how many did we add? Yes, thank goodness that carry-overs are allowed!

How many special, dear people left our lives and how many wonderful, spectacular people added to our joy? Don't let us ever forget that every goodbye was once a hello.

How many headstands did we accomplish, mountains did we scale, books did we read, words did we pen? Most of us will not have won a Giller Prize, set a world record (in anything!) or made a medical discovery. But still all our "little things", each step we took to our half-marathon, each photograph we took, each thing we said "no" to, have made us the person we are today on December 31st 2011.

 Praise and celebrate each tear we've shed, each smile that lit our face, each lesson learned these last 365 days. We are today, because of them.

Cheers for a wonderful New Year's evening. Be well, be safe.

Light your Way

Today I had a conversation with a young colleague regarding the Power of Women. She alluded to some choices she had made as a teenager that impacted her life. I spoke to her on the importance of surrounding yourself with strong women who can support and guide you. They are always there, we are sometimes just not ready to hear them.

I realized that through the most difficult time of my life (long unhappy marriage = long-overdue divorce), I yearned for such a person. They were there when I was ready. My 40's were fraught with awareness that pained, bridges that collapsed and lessons that brought me to the truth: That power and strength are gained through life experiences that we would not choose. That the enlightenment that we reach (if we are fortunate enough to appreciate it when it comes) can move us to higher levels of understanding ourselves, and that to go higher we have to be brought to our knees.

Be brave young friend, always look with joy at the bending paths ahead and listen for the voice that speaks to you. There are sign posts along the way if you allow yourself to pause.

What experiences have you had that slammed one door but gave you a peephole to where you are today?