Can You Wait to Get Up in the Morning?

 We could hardly wait to get up in the morning.
Wilbur Wright

 

Let's admit it, we probably don't all feel like the Wright brothers at this moment. In the last year we've all experienced a loss of some kind. Some a little easier to handle, many quite difficult. Many dreams and ambitions put on hold.

From lost friendships, to losing a steady income, to everything in-between. Each disappointment has caused us to re-think who we are, what we want to contribute, where we are heading.

Each zoom call, each email tells us a story of what people are experiencing around us. Netflix dramas are downright scary, many filled with deceit few with laughter. Some of us are craving the Hallmark movie because it is sweetly predictable. We are often underwhelmed with honesty and truth these days. 

So recently, when I encountered a youtube that I regularly follow where she shared her vulnerability of burn-out, my heart surrendered.

As a fellow creator, with a thousand ideas but only 24 hours each day, holding the responsibility of satisfying her public and her family, she told us in her video how she was doing/drowning.

Can You Wait?

Tell me, do you honestly tell anyone how you're doing? It is okay to be sad, directionless, uncomfortable. It is okay to step back and admit it. And this woman did all that in her video. 

She opened the door to honesty. She was real. She cried. She encouraged others to seek help.

It is the nature of despair that we want to hide. Regardless of who we are, we are all hiding something. (Tweet This) Fear of the expectations of our family, fear of time running out, fear of what we have invested with no or limited outcome. We are tired.

It can paralyze us. But if this fear also gives us the invitation to re-invent ourselves, to re-think our previous choices, gives us the courage to share with others who might be feeling the same, how much hope and comfort could it bring to us all?

Climbing that wall to understanding that our pain is not ours alone takes utmost courage. That others feel it too right now, knowing that we can turn to those on the other side of this experience. Is that not a gift?

Can You Wait?

In the last few weeks, I have heard from people whom I had lost contact with over the last few years. What struck me each time, was how open we have been. How we've shared our feelings of our past memories, asked important questions that showed how much we cared, and opened the door as my youtube lady did.

We stop pretending when we choose our community. For support, for understanding, and also for talking nonsense. (Tweet This)

As our time apart slowly comes to an end, let's not forget what we learned. Perhaps we can create a brighter world, with real hugs, all based on our new more open hearts.

Our fear of today is also our invitation to make a change. (Tweet This)

Stay well, stay kind.

 

 

They Baffle and Bamboozle with Choices

I remember when it was easier to make a decision. Fewer brands of everything including toothpaste, they basically said that they cleaned your teeth. And they did. There wasn't a specific one for whiter teeth, sensitive teeth, or shine-up-faster for your date in one week teeth.

Less of This

It was a more simple time. Less interruptions to who you are. You did or you didn't and you didn't care as much. It was easier to hear the answer. Who am I?

Now, you can spend hours choosing a hair product, a box of cereal, or a brand of coffee.

We are overwhelmed with choices.

Now, you can be a minimalist or fill your walls from floor to ceiling. You can order a print online and hang it up in two days. Do you change your decor with the season, the next holiday or whenever you go by the decor store? 

I know many of you came from a family who had the same sofa from when you were born to when you packed a suitcase and left home. Right? Did anyone care?

And for the last year, we have all been held captive within the four walls 'that we really should paint in the colour of the year'. Yea right, because this is our biggest dilemma? Decision making has become worse.

They want us to choose because they need to sell! (Tweet This) They want to give us a course, send us an email filled with links, offer us something to make our life better. Now sometimes this is good, but often it isn't. You need to choose.

And they won't leave you alone. Psychology Today says that we likely make 2000 decisions every hour! No wonder we are baffled and bamboozled.

Most times what they tell us would be wrong. Only you know what you need. (Tweet This)

More of This

I aim to tell people to not look for the hack, the fix, the instant cure. 

Instead go slow, to get ahead. The chances are you will not strike it rich or be fit or find your life partner on a dating site on your first try. You could be lucky, but you're not likely to be the exception.

The world is full of people looking to get 'there' easily. And it doesn't work because the finding is in the living.

Because here's the secret, no one has it all figured out. We are all not complete, we are all searching.  

So I say, be patient, keep trying, make some mistakes, learn from them, look for the people you can trust. (Tweet This)

And then be still, listen, give it room to happen. Choose to find yourself instead of things.

 

Stay well, stay kind.

 

Feel Good and Feel Well

How often have you felt like that little one left with the marshmallow? 

Sitting with the choice of feeling good quickly or gazing beyond the closed door that held the promise of two marshmallows in a few minutes/weeks/years? The famous test that gauged who a child would turn out to be, their later success in life, in love, in their bank account.

Sitting here on this shady afternoon, as the trees dance their branches against the falling sun, I think of that experiment. My nature has always had me watching that closed door, waiting for the double treat, that's just the way I'm built. 

But...I'm also pondering if it was worth it. That belief that if we just worked a bit harder or longer into the night, we could still meet our friends who were 'well on their way' with the cheap beer. How long can that really serve you?

Or, forget it. It's only one class. Where are my friends?

And then as we grow older, the one more side-job, one more place to look for a deal, one more article to read. How long can we be tired and still continue. 

Or, it doesn't matter. I'll do it tomorrow.

But here's the secret. The gravitational pull to being at either end is something that we are all working on. Finding balance is a trick we need to find soon, we can Feel Good and Feel Well, it's not an or. (Tweet This)

It is okay to sit and watch the shadows move right in front of us. To watch them bounce and change. And fade.

Feel Good and Feel Well, Photo by Author

Don't wait too long. It is that magical place in-between that keeps us Well.

There are definitely some days when sitting in bed and devouring a good book is a good idea. We learn to not overdo.

There are also days, when we have to act as a superhero to get stuff done. We learn that we are capable.

We might feel okay while we're doing either of these things but we can't do either of them all the time. (Tweet This) As many a wise person has said, 'life catches up to you.'

When it involves feeling good for a short period of time in exchange for feeling well for a prolonged period, which do we choose? And how often? That's the crucial question.

 

Courtesy of Pixabay, Einfach-Eve

 

 

We feel good when we've accomplished a smaller goal, learning a new (quicker) way to post on social media, or balancing in tree pose for a little longer. 

We feel good because these little feel good moments are a step to feeling well, for a long time.

 

 

Whatever you are trying to 'get over', make peace with how you feel, it's okay. And then, find the courage to make You better. When you keep picking at a wound it might feel good for a moment, but it keeps us stuck right there. Which one of us doesn't look back at a painful experience, and relive it? Again and again.

We need to remember that not feeling good is a sign to find a way to feel well. (Tweet This)

There is an industry out there waiting to help, from weight loss, to healing your grieving heart. But none of it is going to work until you decide that you rather Feel Well.

Picking at a wound might feel good for a moment, but it keeps us right there, it doesn't allow us to heal. (Tweet This)

What are you going to choose?

Stay well, stay kind.