They Baffle and Bamboozle with Choices

I remember when it was easier to make a decision. Fewer brands of everything including toothpaste, they basically said that they cleaned your teeth. And they did. There wasn't a specific one for whiter teeth, sensitive teeth, or shine-up-faster for your date in one week teeth.

Less of This

It was a more simple time. Less interruptions to who you are. You did or you didn't and you didn't care as much. It was easier to hear the answer. Who am I?

Now, you can spend hours choosing a hair product, a box of cereal, or a brand of coffee.

We are overwhelmed with choices.

Now, you can be a minimalist or fill your walls from floor to ceiling. You can order a print online and hang it up in two days. Do you change your decor with the season, the next holiday or whenever you go by the decor store? 

I know many of you came from a family who had the same sofa from when you were born to when you packed a suitcase and left home. Right? Did anyone care?

And for the last year, we have all been held captive within the four walls 'that we really should paint in the colour of the year'. Yea right, because this is our biggest dilemma? Decision making has become worse.

They want us to choose because they need to sell! (Tweet This) They want to give us a course, send us an email filled with links, offer us something to make our life better. Now sometimes this is good, but often it isn't. You need to choose.

And they won't leave you alone. Psychology Today says that we likely make 2000 decisions every hour! No wonder we are baffled and bamboozled.

Most times what they tell us would be wrong. Only you know what you need. (Tweet This)

More of This

I aim to tell people to not look for the hack, the fix, the instant cure. 

Instead go slow, to get ahead. The chances are you will not strike it rich or be fit or find your life partner on a dating site on your first try. You could be lucky, but you're not likely to be the exception.

The world is full of people looking to get 'there' easily. And it doesn't work because the finding is in the living.

Because here's the secret, no one has it all figured out. We are all not complete, we are all searching.  

So I say, be patient, keep trying, make some mistakes, learn from them, look for the people you can trust. (Tweet This)

And then be still, listen, give it room to happen. Choose to find yourself instead of things.

 

Stay well, stay kind.

 

You Don't Learn Yoga

Several months ago when our self-isolation began, I read an article about what people were hoping to accomplish during this time. 

Of course there were the goals you expected to hear, clean out the extra room, finish a painting project that you started years ago. But the one that got to me, and has taken me this long to write about, was the person who said that she wanted to learn yoga.

 

Learn yoga? Gasp. I'll tell you that my reaction was one of shock, even dismay. Yoga is so much more.

 

 So let me share with you what yoga means to me and maybe these words will somehow reach the young woman in the article.

Yoga is life. It will be with you during the hours of the night when you can't sleep, it will help you to listen to your breath, in and out slowly, better than counting sheep. It will be with you, teaching you to be flexible when someone rushes ahead of you in the parking lot. Yoga will comfort you on the mat when the tears called fear escape. Yoga cannot be contained.

You don't learn yoga, you practice yoga. Every moment, every day.

Poses are not accomplished, there is always another pose waiting to show you your limits. Flexibility is never reached, we always need to bend to circumstances beyond our control. 

Breath is not just breathing. It is peace, it is comfort, it is the juice used to teach us. (Tweet This)

Yoga is about ignoring the person who doesn't stop talking, and the person who always arrives late to a class, any class. Yoga is about finding the teacher you need at the right time, the one that teaches you about strength, and also the one that inspires stillness. 

It is about knowing and keeping close the friends who will fill your heart, the boss to keep away from, the person whom you've outgrown. 

Yoga is about growing to be who you are in each new day.

It is not about learning, it is about practicing.

Practicing when you are tired and have one more thing to get done for your child. Practicing when you are impatient because you have errands to run and an elderly neighbour wants to chat. Practicing when you see the poor choices made around you but have to let someone learn on their own. Yoga is about practicing to forgive, practicing to love, practicing life.

You don't learn yoga, ever, you practice it, just like you practice life. (Tweet This)

 

Stay well, stay kind.

 

Longer Than a Tweet

I read a twitter post the other day, that asked "what year did you graduate from high school?"

Well, this is what I discovered when I read some of the responses:

• 99% of the comments said that they graduated in1990s, 2000s, 2010s

So when you read my words, what do you need to know about me? My answer will take something longer than a tweet to tell you.

This medium of communication and all the others we now use daily are built on the perspective of the contributors and of the readers.

And those who were seen dancing 

were thought to be insane 

by those who could not hear the music.

 Friedrich Nietzsche

It made me think that most of the people who read my tweets were not born when I graduated high school. That they likely don't know about our struggle for girls to wear pants, never mind blue jeans to school. That there used to be a day when male teachers wore suits and ties, and the few female high school teachers that you knew always wore a dress.

The comments to the question made me realize that at the other end of my tweet many might not understand...

• the responsibility of attending a university we faced, of moving out from home, of getting an immediate job, and then quickly getting married

• because now that year of high school graduation is often followed by a gap year and further education has casually been shortened to uni, which makes it sound more like a summer camp to me

Yet, I applaud my readers for their bravado, their enthusiasm, their hope. They have not been confined by what is to come. They don't know of domineering bosses, angry landlords, and orthodontic payments for the kids.

Oh, enjoy this time, I say. You should. You really, really should.

Longer Than a Tweet

The world that was waiting for me when I graduated high school, was naive in its beliefs of forever marriage and birth-control, and rules of the church. We walked a narrow road.

We don't have hundreds of 'friends' as is common now. But we have long-term friendships some of which still survive forty years later.

And we know that they are people who will come in the middle of the night and tell you the truth.

So how do we connect and listen to each other as we tweet? For each intervening decade has brought its own suitcase of worries and complaints, fears and plans.

But let me tell you this, under all our differences, we are the same regardless of what year we graduated from high school. Each one is searching.

Longer Than a Tweet

And when you see your moment of truth, you'll know. Believe me, on this one. (Tweet This)

Some of the roads I have walked, I beg you not to tread! Some of the disasters coming towards you, have been faced before - turn to someone who graduated earlier, they will help you. Just as we will ask you some silly questions about gigabytes, or how to change the security on our social media accounts. Have patience with us, as we continue to have with you, as you learn.

I graduated from high school, while many of your parents were in high school. And like most people I know, we are still trying to make your life better.

Longer Than a Tweet

The world is a small place right now.  It is a circle whose expanse cannot be fully tweeted, or understood without the lens of hindsight. (Tweet This)

You will go on many adventures, but always remember that finding yourself takes time. Be patient.



And you my (younger) reader will be disappointed many times. Disappointment is part of life. It's not the worst thing that will happen to you. Get over it! (Tweet This)

And just in case you're still reading. 1971.


Stay well, stay kind.

Re-Wording Right Now During Self-Isolation

Re-Wording Right Now During Self-Isolation

re-align re-do re-create just a few re-words

then there's re-try re-imagine re-work

there are a lot of re-words available right now (Tweet This)

what about re-read

re-plant

re-pack

re-wash

Re-Wording Right Now During Self-Isolation

re-organize

re-discover

re-order

re-assess





one of these days we'll resume, there will be no hyphen (Tweet This)

how are you preparing?

what will we take with us

what will we discard


what direction will we go

this is our chance to re-think

and then restore what we are, who we've become, which way we're going

Re-Wording Right Now During Self-Isolation

Who will we Be when we are finished re-wording? (Tweet This)


Send me some other re-words you are using and add to this list. (Tweet This)



Be well,

Searching for the Middle (to Keep Your Balance)

Yoga in the morning. A restful sleep. Not too many people on the roads.

Searching for the Middle to Keep Your Balance 

Courtesy Pixabay photo-graphe

Some of us know each other, some are new to the class. A woman I haven't seen before, puts down her mat and says, I guess I should get the other crap now too. I laugh, yoga and crap, two words I have not combined in one sentence in a while. She looks around, and goes to get the props we'll use today.

We are all new to this building, a new location, some distance from our previous site. Brand new, finding our way, hoping there are coat racks this week. Finding our preferred spot in this long, narrow room. So different from what we were used to, where we each knew where we belonged.

My yoga teacher reminds us to slow our breath. She tells us we will build the class to finish with some balancing. There are loud groans in the class.

She guides us to standing on one leg, swaying, looking upward, growing our branches. There are giggles of frustration or embarrassment as we take turns falling out of the pose.

Each day differs from the one before, our teacher says, some days we are solid, some days we waver.

Searching for the middle to keep your balance.

Searching for the Middle to Keep Your Balance

In our family, our work, our yoga practice. In the traffic, in our relationships, in our goals.

There are days when our class is easier than others. Some days all we can manage is to sway. Balance is serious business. (Tweet This) Don't forget to breathe. But if we keep our eyes forward, we know that we are in this together, we can see the humour in our daily practise.

As in our new yoga studio, each day we know that things are not the same. That there will be surprises (what, that was only 2 hour parking?). That someone will arrive late and distract you. That someone in the corner is sneezing, again.

At the end of the class, we all put away our props (our toys?), we lend a hand to others to clean up, we chat with the stranger, and welcome back those we haven't seen for a few weeks, we smile at how much the young pregnant woman has grown. We glow with her.

We're all looking for the middle, we enjoy the familiar, sometimes we brace for the new, and then with time, it becomes normal (Tweet This). We can hardly remember when it was new. We just need to keep our balance until then.

And most often, if we just put away our own crap, we can find the middle together.


That constant search for something between the familiar and the new is our learning. That moment of comfort keeps us in balance.

We need the middle until we find a new middle. That's how we grow. (Tweet This).



Now tell me, how do you find your balance in the middle?


Be well,

The Story of You

We decide that we want to change in some aspect our lives and poof! it happens. Magically, easily, without much effort. Wouldn't that be amazing?

One day, we're mixed up as to what we have to offer the world, and the next day we know! Unlikely.

The Story of You

We discover however that a happy ending takes work. It takes time and experience to learn that it involves knowing when to dig in and when it's best to turn the page.

As the inspiring Jon Kabat Zinn said in his book,
Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life, we find out that there we are again. So, it's up to us isn't it?  Where do we want to stop our story? How do we want this to end? (Tweet This)

The story we tell ourselves if viewed from a different perspective causes a shift. It can change the next chapter and the one after that. Our story is fluid, and only we can decide what we write into it. Some chapters full of drama, then switching to a romance, sometimes to a thriller and everything in-between. Some chapters long, some gone in the sigh of a breath. 

The Story of You

We get to decide what to put into our story, when to stay up late to learn, to savour each detail of a new experience, and when to call an end to it. It could be a business, a relationship, a new skill. How far will we write it into our story?

We get to pack what we want on this journey. We can go with little and hope for the best. We can over-pack, and be prepared for darn well anything, we can take the fastest route, or take the mindful road-trip through life which I've written about too. We can ask for help along the way, or decide to go solo.

As many lives as there are, there are so many stories.

The story we write is up to us. It is never-ending. But what we need to remember is that each day it also gets left behind and read by our children, our family, our friends.

What impact will the story of you have on them?

If you want a happy ending, that depends,

of course, on where you stop your story.

 Orson Welles

Our story is fluid, only we can decide what we write into it.(Tweet This)

What impact will the story of you have on those who are watching? (Tweet This)


Be Well,

Today's Shadow on the Wall

Sitting in the late afternoon shadows as they spread across my living room, I saw this beautiful image appear on my wall. Why is it that sometimes it looks different?

The shadow that could be you or me or anyone we know. The non-descript, non-gender, peaceful face as it turns away. Looking where? Perhaps, towards tomorrow. Today's shadow on the wall shows me the promise of turning to a new day, leaving our baggage behind. Towards the hours ahead, starting anew.

Today it looks content to me. There have been days when it did not.

Although our past experiences, our judgments, and our shadow follow us wherever we go, We decide what to take from today into the new hours. (Tweet This)

How differently we all see life! Through our own private lens, the one we've brought with us from yesterday. We need to spend some time thinking about our shadow. (Tweet This)

We see the world through what feels true to us, 

and that dictates both what we notice 

and the meaning we read into it.

Lisa Cron

We can isolate ourselves or we can reach out. We can celebrate together or cower alone. It's not easy to make a change. But we can.

Each one of us sees the world differently, we accept and react based on our experiences. We notice or we ignore. In our homes, in our workplaces, walking in the park, we take a different piece of those moments into our tomorrow. Which ones do we take? We get to choose. We get to contemplate.

That shadow can be our friend. Our companion. It can show us all that we want of our tomorrows.  


Contemplating life with today's shadow on the wall. (Tweet This)