Books Bind Us and Change Us

 

I spotted this gentle little reminder as I walked this morning. Finding quiet is something you seek. It doesn't just appear, it is not given to you. But if you search for it, it is there.

A young man was sitting under this tree, and it is only as my walking partner and I approached did I see that he was reading a book. He sat still. He did not look around, he was not distracted by all of us walking by.

I wondered what he was reading. I hoped.

Something life-changing?

Philosophy? 

Something deep? 

 

Some minutes later as we returned up the same path, we saw him making his way from under that (Bodhi?) tree. He happened to join alongside us as we walked along the ridge overlooking the water below.

I took a photo of you, I said, you looked like you were meditating about something.

Yes, he replied.

I hope it was mindful, I queried. He smiled. He was not put off by a complete stranger questioning him. It's as if his thoughts were still trapped between the pages he had been reading. (Tweet This)

He tightly clutched his book, he did not reveal what he had been engrossed in. He just calmly smiled.

The book he needed today, his secret still, his moment.

I too have had those moments, I too have leapt into a book, either with confidence or fear of what it held for me. Not knowing what it might say that I needed to know, because one day I would hear more than words.

Could he have been reading, A Handbook for New Stoics: How to Thrive in a World Out of Your Control? A book I found so valuable that it could change your life?

Or could it have been Following the Wrong God Home which I read so many years ago and had a profound affect on how I saw the world?

I hope I captured his moment of change. I hope that he realized that the universe had let me witness his learning. When slowly or suddenly, things are just a little bit more clear. (Tweet This)

Because that's how change happens, whenever we are ready to hear it and accept it. The Last Arrow , another piece of wisdom which prompted me to continue sharing my words at a time when I questioned their value.

Books bind us together. How easily we can chat with a stranger we see on the bus who is also reading the same book. Or recommend to a fellow browser in a store the recent title of one we enjoyed.

We need to hold our book close, like the young man I met, and then to share when we are ready.

 

Now tell me, which book changed what you knew about yourself and the world around you? (Tweet This) 

Stay well, stay safe.

 

 

Books to Bind You and Change You:

     

Longer Than a Tweet

I read a twitter post the other day, that asked "what year did you graduate from high school?"

Well, this is what I discovered when I read some of the responses:

• 99% of the comments said that they graduated in1990s, 2000s, 2010s

So when you read my words, what do you need to know about me? My answer will take something longer than a tweet to tell you.

This medium of communication and all the others we now use daily are built on the perspective of the contributors and of the readers.

And those who were seen dancing 

were thought to be insane 

by those who could not hear the music.

 Friedrich Nietzsche

It made me think that most of the people who read my tweets were not born when I graduated high school. That they likely don't know about our struggle for girls to wear pants, never mind blue jeans to school. That there used to be a day when male teachers wore suits and ties, and the few female high school teachers that you knew always wore a dress.

The comments to the question made me realize that at the other end of my tweet many might not understand...

• the responsibility of attending a university we faced, of moving out from home, of getting an immediate job, and then quickly getting married

• because now that year of high school graduation is often followed by a gap year and further education has casually been shortened to uni, which makes it sound more like a summer camp to me

Yet, I applaud my readers for their bravado, their enthusiasm, their hope. They have not been confined by what is to come. They don't know of domineering bosses, angry landlords, and orthodontic payments for the kids.

Oh, enjoy this time, I say. You should. You really, really should.

Longer Than a Tweet

The world that was waiting for me when I graduated high school, was naive in its beliefs of forever marriage and birth-control, and rules of the church. We walked a narrow road.

We don't have hundreds of 'friends' as is common now. But we have long-term friendships some of which still survive forty years later.

And we know that they are people who will come in the middle of the night and tell you the truth.

So how do we connect and listen to each other as we tweet? For each intervening decade has brought its own suitcase of worries and complaints, fears and plans.

But let me tell you this, under all our differences, we are the same regardless of what year we graduated from high school. Each one is searching.

Longer Than a Tweet

And when you see your moment of truth, you'll know. Believe me, on this one. (Tweet This)

Some of the roads I have walked, I beg you not to tread! Some of the disasters coming towards you, have been faced before - turn to someone who graduated earlier, they will help you. Just as we will ask you some silly questions about gigabytes, or how to change the security on our social media accounts. Have patience with us, as we continue to have with you, as you learn.

I graduated from high school, while many of your parents were in high school. And like most people I know, we are still trying to make your life better.

Longer Than a Tweet

The world is a small place right now.  It is a circle whose expanse cannot be fully tweeted, or understood without the lens of hindsight. (Tweet This)

You will go on many adventures, but always remember that finding yourself takes time. Be patient.



And you my (younger) reader will be disappointed many times. Disappointment is part of life. It's not the worst thing that will happen to you. Get over it! (Tweet This)

And just in case you're still reading. 1971.


Stay well, stay kind.

Today's Shadow on the Wall

Sitting in the late afternoon shadows as they spread across my living room, I saw this beautiful image appear on my wall. Why is it that sometimes it looks different?

The shadow that could be you or me or anyone we know. The non-descript, non-gender, peaceful face as it turns away. Looking where? Perhaps, towards tomorrow. Today's shadow on the wall shows me the promise of turning to a new day, leaving our baggage behind. Towards the hours ahead, starting anew.

Today it looks content to me. There have been days when it did not.

Although our past experiences, our judgments, and our shadow follow us wherever we go, We decide what to take from today into the new hours. (Tweet This)

How differently we all see life! Through our own private lens, the one we've brought with us from yesterday. We need to spend some time thinking about our shadow. (Tweet This)

We see the world through what feels true to us, 

and that dictates both what we notice 

and the meaning we read into it.

Lisa Cron

We can isolate ourselves or we can reach out. We can celebrate together or cower alone. It's not easy to make a change. But we can.

Each one of us sees the world differently, we accept and react based on our experiences. We notice or we ignore. In our homes, in our workplaces, walking in the park, we take a different piece of those moments into our tomorrow. Which ones do we take? We get to choose. We get to contemplate.

That shadow can be our friend. Our companion. It can show us all that we want of our tomorrows.  


Contemplating life with today's shadow on the wall. (Tweet This)

How Small a Part of Time We Share

How Small a Part of Time We Share

The shadows are getting longer, the heat of the sun is subsiding. Some things are left undone. That's just the way it is.

I talked to someone older and wiser today. She reminded me of some important facts, that we need to remember How Small a Part of Time We Share. She reminded me that we need to use that Time wisely. 

• We never feel that we get enough time. Whether it's time to sit quietly on our balconies or precious time with each other. Choose carefully. Respect yourself, your moments, your sense of calm. You don't need to like everyone. Or at least, take a 30-day snooze from them. It seems that even facebook allows that.

• Manage with what you have, mix it up so that it becomes your own. Don't you love my thrift store find of greenery that never needs watering? There's no need to torment yourself. Make it up. Be creative. Enjoy. It's your life.

• Sometimes the unexpected get along perfectly well together, a frog and a bunny side by side. No one can tell you who will cross your path next. Everyone has something to teach you. Even if it is to teach you to keep your distance.

Accepting the Magic

I wrote quite a brilliant piece in my head as I was walking this morning.

But you know what happened, don't you? The ideas floated in my head for nary a moment or two, before they disappeared altogether.

I became distracted by the workers who had driven their truck onto the walking path as they trimmed the trees. How many more would they cut today?

I walked a little further up the hill to see if I could identify what was being built on the corner. Such an interesting shape, large, one floor with small windows on one side. Two floors, larger windows on the other side. What will it become? 

The brilliant, magical words departed.

Accepting the Magic; Courtesy Pixabay - itspinballtime

The muse vanished.

The thoughts that were meant for me, swirled around like hard to catch autumn leaves, then landed on someone else's doorstep. I'm sure.

The magic that comes to us needs to be captured and clung to, wrung out. It needs to be spoken into our phones, imprinted on our cameras, painted on our canvas, knit into our clothing.

The dreams that arrive, in pale blues and ivory, in stark blacks and reds are ours alone. Why do we ignore them thinking that perhaps they will sit and wait for us to pay attention?

Why do we hide from what brings joy to our life, postpone until our easy and mundane tasks are completed? (Tweet This)

Why do we look with envy (and sometimes scorn) at those who wear ripped jeans with their pearls?
Think that we are too old, fat, curvy, or responsible to just be silly? 
Why don't we go to the park and sit on the grass before it is covered in snow? 
See the pandas before they leave our city to go back home? 
Or rest, be quiet and accept what is searching for us?

Why must we be so sensible?

Accepting the Magic

The ideas that we notice mean something for us. They spark a thought, a dream, a plan. In such a busy world, why did this idea call our attention? (Tweet This)

What is it that we are meant to take as we pass by? (Tweet This)

We'd be foolish to dismiss what we notice too easily. 

Now tell me. How do you find the magic?

If you would like to hold on to your magic, you would enjoy Austin Kleon's book, Steal Like an Artist. It's a winner!

Trust - How We Keep It

I was listening to an old rock and roller today. He talked about his manager walking away with millions of his dollars. I saw a young woman recently put her hand in the bulk food bin and take a handful of cookies. You've seen it too - the cyclist that screams around a corner without giving a warning bell or shout-out.

Trust - how we keep it or break it is always up to us. But first, we need to notice it.

Trust - How We Keep It

There are so many easy ways to break it.

From the relatively harmless showing up late for a meeting to the heart-wrenching showing up early to find your spouse...

A man who doesn’t trust himself 

can never really trust anyone else.  

Cardinal de Retz

We trust blindly sometimes and don't trust other times because of some long-ago event that scarred us. We hand our hearts and money to strangers but don't praise often enough the good deeds of our neighbour. He too has his problems but he continues to sweep off our front entrance whenever he does his.

In Limited Vision, you can read about what we see.

What's Real? shares thoughts on intuition and what we don't see.

We live each day treating others by what we learned to expect of them. And they do the same. (Tweet This)

What value do we put on those who stand up to their commitments in spite of their own difficulties?

If they've always been there doing their 'thing', that's exactly what we trust them to do. Even if they are the one who always shows up late!

At Home Retreat

Life is the past,  the present and the perhaps.

Bette Davis

If you read any of the same articles I do, you too might be drawn to the Retreat. But once again if you and I are at all similar, you haven't yet ventured on a bona fide Retreat.

You haven't packed a bag and road-tripped to a condo overlooking the bay. Or jetted to an ocean-side cottage to write your novel.

You don't have the means, the time, the energy or the courage to meet a bunch of strangers to share your passion. People that likely you will not see again.

Here's an alternative for you.

Today my husband left early for a long road-bike trip with some friends which wouldn't bring him home until late in the day.

Today would be mine, my At Home Retreat.

Saturday mornings are usually rushed, you might have read about our yoga class earlier. But today was different, I made my tea and returned to bed to read Annie Proulx's Barkskins: A Novel.

It is a heavy 700 pages and needs to be propped on an extra pillow. Ah, today I could concentrate on the tangled story that spans several decades. It allowed me to think of the various kinds of families in the world, how each has the potential to create or destroy the members. Retreat equals drink tea in bed and relax.

Distracted into thinking, my unfinished jewelry pieces caught my eye. What would they look like with mixed colour beads? Bending and twisting with ease. No rush. Retreat equals time to be creative.

Hunger. Baking. Blueberries.  
Yumm! A favourite recipe given by a colleague from a long time ago, Ann B. No fail, she told my 22-year-old self. 

And she was right. Not once over the decades in between has this muffin recipe failed. Blueberries, chocolate chips or almonds and poppy seeds. You can add whatever you like! No fail. Thank you Ann B. wherever you settled on Vancouver Island. Retreat equals reminiscing. 

Retreat does not mean not doing for me as you can tell. It doesn't mean sitting for endless hours in front of a television or swiping on Pinterest. Retreat means pausing, feeling the thoughts I put aside on Monday, Tuesday and during the rest of the week. Retreat means moving slower, picking up, cleaning up, wiping down. Slowly.

Retreat means turning on the fan, pointing it towards you because you notice all of a sudden that it is hot and stuffy and mid-afternoon. 

You are quiet, and you can hear your heartbeat, you remember You.

You re-charge, you re-call, you release. You make peace.

You know more about less. And less than you thought you knew.

You hear the fan and it sounds like an ocean, you smell the muffins and you could be at a Paris bistro, you heft the book you are reading and you are on the cliffs in Acadia.

Your At Home Retreat has taken you everywhere and brought you to the center of Alone. It has returned you to your heart.

If you give an At Home Retreat a try, let me know what you find out. (Tweet This)

This is what my At Home Retreat gave me. (Tweet This)

The Ordinary Role Model

The passage of time can be a scary thing for most of us. We all know people who don't want to admit their age as seniors even if it gives them a discount at the movie theatre or the fashionable "grandma" who wants to be known by a different name so that no-one thinks she's that old.

I met with a friend today who is a handful of years ahead of me. I won't give her age because sometimes she reads my words here! She is fit and enjoys her life, which she feels is no different than anyone else's. She's worked hard, saved her money, looks forward to her next adventure and maintains friendships in a wide circle of people. I look up to her. She's a role model for me.

The Ordinary Role Model

She hasn't allowed the loss of her life-partner, the distance of miles from her only child, the lines on her face and some long evenings spent alone to keep her from being happy.

As you might have read in my earlier post she is also someone who decided much earlier who she is. She created a habit.

The interesting thing is that we each can get our motivation from a different source.

It doesn't matter who we are, what we do for a living, or what our circumstances might be in this moment. For me it could be someone who stays active (I'm currently following the Tour de France each morning while I eat breakfast!), for you, it could be someone who just joined the local choir, someone else might be encouraged by an entrepreneur or a volunteer at a homeless shelter.

My friend was telling me that she had performed at a recent line-dancing event. One of her fellow dancers was 89 years old! "She's my role model", my friend told me.

We all need encouragement and someone to look up to, no one is immune to falling into a funk. My friend showed me that if we want to continue to grow, and live a life of contentment, keep an eye out for a role model. They are who they are. Often our role models don't even feel they are doing anything extraordinary. (Tweet This)

Perhaps today, we could pay special attention to the words we use, our actions and how we engage in the world.

We never know who's watching us and sees their role model.(Tweet This)