Stories With No Words

We're into week seven of self-isolation in our home, perhaps you are too. I'm shaking my head now when I realize that I was borderline 'excited' to go do groceries this morning. To see someone else's face that didn't come across a screen.

As a bona fide Introvert, this being at home time, hasn't been too bad. But what I noticed today as I gloved up for my shopping excursion is how challenging it's been to share my stories from the side streets of life with you. Mainly because, I haven't been on too many side streets.

When we are in our own spaces which often means in our own heads, where do you find the other stories?

The stories wherever I go now are mostly silent, they play out only by the actions I see. Words only carry so far. (Tweet This)






 
My week has been written by these quiet stories:

as I was leaving for my weekly visit to the grocery story: my elderly neighbour knocking on an even more elderly neighbour's door to see if she needed anything

the tall husband and short wife who walk the neighbourhood daily, sometimes twice a day, hand-in-hand

the people walking by on our main street, who consciously stop and move off the path, to allow someone else to go by safely

the family riding bicycles of varying sizes, with the littlest one pedalling as fast as she can to keep up

the freckled face tyke who said he 'had to stay far away' but  asked me if my watch counted my steps

and the outdoor worker carrying a ladder on my street who paused and waved to let me drive by

The stories continue, we might not know what they are, because for the most part we are not close enough to hear the words. But in this moment, We can believe that not all things are easy, that we are each wrestling with our own worries, and that it's not always easy to be kind. (Tweet This)

Stories With No Words

The sound of voices will return in full force one day. But the actions we use today can change the words we will hear then.

Our stories don't need words, they need actions. (Tweet This)

Stay safe, stay kind.

Together Without the Noise

A friend and I were talking on the phone the other day. We each sat with our coffee and chatted as we used to years and years ago. While both of us had children scattered about, it was a treat to hear an adult voice that listened to us. Talking on the phone is something we do infrequently now, like most people we choose other ways to stay in touch.

Together Without the Noise

When we talked the other day, We could recognize how much life had changed for each of us, and how much we'd changed our lives. (Tweet This)

She could sit in her front room, in the same house she's been in for decades and smile as she viewed the garden, see how the trees had grown, and remember how each child had left the 'nest'. I, however sat in a home that was three times changed from when we first met. And I too knew how each move from house to house, from home to home had changed me.

We noticed that in this quiet time, we are forced to confront what we've pushed to the side. (Tweet This)  We cannot ignore the simple things that bring us the greatest pleasures or disguise the things that terrify us. I told her about the robin that appeared while I walked yesterday in spite of our continuing winter weather and she told me of the bunny she saw hopping on two legs down her street.

We spoke of our early coffee get-togethers, oh, how I looked forward to the invitation to her house to taste her homemade cinnamon buns! Today, I continue to appreciate what she'd shared, her handwritten recipe cards, moved and re-taped into each of my recipe books over the years.

As I've connected with many friends over the last few weeks, I realized that each one shared a memory that was so real that it made them smile or told of a fear that persists. What each one said in their own way is, "I've always wanted to say this...". Every one wanted to be heard.

In the absence of real-time television shows, I've watched some episodes held in the host's home. Seen the disarray behind them, the corner where they hide things, viewed their messy kitchen, seen them without their TV make-up. I've seen a different, but I imagine, real side of them. They appear happy, relieved almost to be this way.

We don't know how any of this will work out, where we will end up with our health, our finances, our livelihood. What we do know is that we are collectively facing this. The word that we hear is, Together. Each one of us is making it through in our own but different way.

Together Without the Noise

Because with this global stillness, the outside noise has subsided and what we get to hear is our own voice. (Tweet This)

And you? 

When will you begin that long journey into yourself? 

Rumi

 

We know that this isolation time will change us. Although, we don't know in how many ways quite yet. But it will end, as all those difficult times we've already experienced.

The unknown future will always hold its mysteries. We now understand that we have no control of what it will look like.

All we have is eachother and the knowledge that we've made it through before.


Stay safe, stay kind.

What does one say...

...when we are all in isolation
in common, regardless of who we are
do we run to our shelters and bar our feelings and thoughts

or are we more brave than we thought

can we reach out and maintain a lifeline to a
stranger (on-line), a family member, a friend
what is our foundation for this un-experienced state (Tweet This)

What does one say...

are we welcoming of this distance

and know that alongside, we can still be fearful of how it will all end (Tweet This)
what are we made of
kindness  positivity hope belief
that all things will pass

although our shopping malls are closing
our fitness centres are dark

What does one say   Courtesy Pixabay Denise861

the sun was shining today
few people were out walking
but it was good to feel the cold
crunching the snow on yet un-cleared sidewalks

bracing against the wind
pulling up the hood on my coat

making my way back home
warm
safe
invigorated
to start a project
clean up the accumulated paper
wipe the cupboard doors

sit and watch mindless television 
yes, I've discovered
it's okay in the middle of the day

read and read and read

create not consume
reflect not chase
re-set
settle in silence.

changed.



* Isolation. These are not questions, they are thoughts to ponder (Tweet This)




Be well,

Re-Write - Word of the Year and 12 Ways to Use It

Choosing a Word of the Year has been helpful to me for the last few years to be used as a map. It has given me a reason to slow down in that space between experience and reaction.

Re-Write - Word of the Year and 12 Ways to Use It

Last year, my word was Celebrate!, a year I devoted to getting ready to and then learning to celebrate the end of my working career. A year spent rediscovering myself and what was important enough to carry.

So many reflections emerged with that word, including the releasing of silly thoughts that no longer served me although they seemed so important at the time. The realization that the days that were spent are gone, and that no one can give you the peace that you deserve except yourself.

... and to Celebrate! last year is what led me to my 2020 Word of the Year - Re-Write.

When you have a little more time on your hands since leaving a long career, you are given the gift of Time. A gift that is easy enough to squander with tidying-up tasks, staying in your pajamas all day (yes! I've done this a whopping twice in the last eight months), or aimlessly watching a screen. Or squeezing in as much as possible. I tell you this because "squeezing in" is my default and something I am working on. You might already know that I like to check things off a list but now I am asking myself why it has been so important to me.

This gift of Time is also about choice, who and what to fill your time, which project to tackle first, which book to read, which Netflix series to follow next. 

Moving Pieces

How do you feel when you are starting a new project? You think you have everything in front of you, but often because you are just starting, you are overwhelmed and it feels like it won't work out. You convince yourself to wait. The Moving Pieces are a mystery.

Once we get going, we discover that we don't have the password, or are missing a part (it could even be an ingredient). Sometimes we need a new connecting piece and have to get in the car and head to Staples or Michaels or the hardware store.

The very act of stopping can throw us off-kilter. It's hard to get our momentum back, maybe we'll just do it tomorrow instead, there are more urgent things to get done, maybe we'll just watch one more YouTube to be sure we've got it right. Maybe we'll sit on our sofa and climb under a blanket.

Moving Pieces though belong together. The pieces may lay in our cupboards, our counters our hide-away places. If we're stubborn enough, we can leave them there for years!

But eventually...


We decide to gather all the parts together, we research what needs to be done, we ask our favourite expert (an uncle, google or a book we've hidden away) for help. Rarely does it come together on a first try, and often our efforts need more practise.


These pieces of mine have been floating in my head for a long time. I pretended that the Moving Pieces could lie dormant and maybe I would do different projects entirely. Because this one scared me! (There are so many ways we can fool ourselves.) 

and then I questioned myself.

What a crazy idea.
I'm not creative enough.
I can't do this.
What if..it's a disaster, stupid, ugly.
What if I fail?

But these Moving Pieces intrigued me, they called to me, they wanted to be put together. (Tweet This)

So here they are.

My first attempt at a painting I did some years ago.

and all my Moving Pieces.

Let's see what they can do together!

We all have ideas that we've put aside. Tell me about your experience with Moving Pieces. (Tweet This)

Trust - How We Keep It

I was listening to an old rock and roller today. He talked about his manager walking away with millions of his dollars. I saw a young woman recently put her hand in the bulk food bin and take a handful of cookies. You've seen it too - the cyclist that screams around a corner without giving a warning bell or shout-out.

Trust - how we keep it or break it is always up to us. But first, we need to notice it.

Trust - How We Keep It

There are so many easy ways to break it.

From the relatively harmless showing up late for a meeting to the heart-wrenching showing up early to find your spouse...

A man who doesn’t trust himself 

can never really trust anyone else.  

Cardinal de Retz

We trust blindly sometimes and don't trust other times because of some long-ago event that scarred us. We hand our hearts and money to strangers but don't praise often enough the good deeds of our neighbour. He too has his problems but he continues to sweep off our front entrance whenever he does his.

In Limited Vision, you can read about what we see.

What's Real? shares thoughts on intuition and what we don't see.

We live each day treating others by what we learned to expect of them. And they do the same. (Tweet This)

What value do we put on those who stand up to their commitments in spite of their own difficulties?

If they've always been there doing their 'thing', that's exactly what we trust them to do. Even if they are the one who always shows up late!

At Home Retreat

Life is the past,  the present and the perhaps.

Bette Davis

If you read any of the same articles I do, you too might be drawn to the Retreat. But once again if you and I are at all similar, you haven't yet ventured on a bona fide Retreat.

You haven't packed a bag and road-tripped to a condo overlooking the bay. Or jetted to an ocean-side cottage to write your novel.

You don't have the means, the time, the energy or the courage to meet a bunch of strangers to share your passion. People that likely you will not see again.

Here's an alternative for you.

Today my husband left early for a long road-bike trip with some friends which wouldn't bring him home until late in the day.

Today would be mine, my At Home Retreat.

Saturday mornings are usually rushed, you might have read about our yoga class earlier. But today was different, I made my tea and returned to bed to read Annie Proulx's Barkskins: A Novel.

It is a heavy 700 pages and needs to be propped on an extra pillow. Ah, today I could concentrate on the tangled story that spans several decades. It allowed me to think of the various kinds of families in the world, how each has the potential to create or destroy the members. Retreat equals drink tea in bed and relax.

Distracted into thinking, my unfinished jewelry pieces caught my eye. What would they look like with mixed colour beads? Bending and twisting with ease. No rush. Retreat equals time to be creative.

Hunger. Baking. Blueberries.  
Yumm! A favourite recipe given by a colleague from a long time ago, Ann B. No fail, she told my 22-year-old self. 

And she was right. Not once over the decades in between has this muffin recipe failed. Blueberries, chocolate chips or almonds and poppy seeds. You can add whatever you like! No fail. Thank you Ann B. wherever you settled on Vancouver Island. Retreat equals reminiscing. 

Retreat does not mean not doing for me as you can tell. It doesn't mean sitting for endless hours in front of a television or swiping on Pinterest. Retreat means pausing, feeling the thoughts I put aside on Monday, Tuesday and during the rest of the week. Retreat means moving slower, picking up, cleaning up, wiping down. Slowly.

Retreat means turning on the fan, pointing it towards you because you notice all of a sudden that it is hot and stuffy and mid-afternoon. 

You are quiet, and you can hear your heartbeat, you remember You.

You re-charge, you re-call, you release. You make peace.

You know more about less. And less than you thought you knew.

You hear the fan and it sounds like an ocean, you smell the muffins and you could be at a Paris bistro, you heft the book you are reading and you are on the cliffs in Acadia.

Your At Home Retreat has taken you everywhere and brought you to the center of Alone. It has returned you to your heart.

If you give an At Home Retreat a try, let me know what you find out. (Tweet This)

This is what my At Home Retreat gave me. (Tweet This)

Yesterday

I can't go back to yesterday

because I was a different person then.

from Alice in Wonderland

We all know that we can't reach back. Even if those moments have been captured in a favourite image that hangs on our wall, the attachment we have is based on our emotion of that event. A daughter's dance recital, a son's new job, the feelings that are wrapped around that memory.

Yesterday

We may sigh with the satisfaction of knowing how it felt but the warmth of the sun, the quiet hum of the distant lawnmower, the joy (or fear) on your child's face as they made their way into a new chapter of their lives, well, they're gone. They are quickly replaced by new events, new treasured moments, new books, new movies, a new something else.

Yesterday no matter how much it swelled or broke our heart lies behind us. (Tweet This) It might have built us into something better or left us stranded on an island of isolation. What we do with yesterday is up to us.

It was our teacher and if we were listening it gave us a chance.

to forgive

to reach out

to question

to love

to appreciate
to learn

to throw away anger

to pay attention

to repeat or not to repeat

Because today's yesterday has served its purpose if it was done well. (Tweet This)

Now leave a comment and tell me, which lesson do you wish you'd have learned a long ago yesterday?

Keep looking. When you find it, make it better.  ©