Stop Living in Fear (easier said than done)

Of course we are fearful. All of us, yes every last one of us. We’re afraid of a multitude of past sins, and fearful of our financial futures. We’re afraid that we won't be able to give our children the advantages we want for them, and we worry that we are not doing enough for our aging parents.

Most of all however, we are afraid of being found out. Of being recognized for what someone else thinks is not enough and that we’ve been faking it all along.

We’re fearful of people knowing that we are a fraud.

Oh, there are all kinds of frauds, many of which are ultimately harmless and that just remind us that we are human. No, I didn’t really run the last half-marathon in under 2 hours, turns out it was 2:01. No, I didn’t finish the challenge for 60 days straight yoga. I woke up on day 51 with a migraine, but I did do it the other 59 days, doesn’t that count, it does? Doesn’t it?

We tell our children to be respectful of their teachers, but we don’t tell them what we say about all authority under our breath.

We say we are mindful and live in the moment and trust the Universe. But there are mornings at 2a.m., when we are truly afraid.

We keep our cool and display temperance in public around the staff room table, but still we raise our middle finger at the jerk who cut in front of us on the drive home.

What’s your red sole? There is only one You.

There will be haters, but there will be people who love you more 

and they’re the ones who count. 

Michelle Villalobos, founder of The Women's Success Summit
as quoted by SmartBlog on Social Media 

Today I am going to write about the business of Business. I am grateful for the entrepreneurship gene that floats through my body. It might have something to do with “not keeping all your eggs in one basket” or it could be the fact that I have a low threshold for boredom. Through the years, I have always enjoyed and learned a lot in “having something else on the side”.

In college, I tutored elementary aged students and since then have hired focus group participants for multiple marketing firms, operated a day home and owned a deli all while I was an at-home Mom. A rental space for my creative endeavours followed later.

Why did I not venture into any of them full-time? Fear. Fear of failing but also of being Successful. The Fear of changing to become someone else. The Fear of not staying the Me with whom I was familiar . There are lots of other obvious reasons that people choose not to venture out on their own, the time commitment, the outgrowing of friendships (yes, this does happen when you have different goals), the I don’t know if I have the energy to take this to the level it deserves and a myriad of other personal reasons.

 But for me, the main reason is the fear of losing of Self. Is it possible to combine my creative side, the yearning to learn more about photography, the freedom to be Me and still be financially successful in a business? Does a person really have to choose one or the other, security vs enjoyment? Are they exclusive to each other? Am I able to continue to live with integrity with the confident assurance of a calm nature and simultaneously continue to foster recognition in my desired field? Will I still be a nice person? Can yoga and chocolate, frugality, photography, travel and the occasional Jane Austin quote be combined? Can I write my way to my goal?

I will continue to share stories about the trials and successes in business, of how people cope with the loss of the guaranteed biweekly pay-cheque, and the fulfilment of doing what you love.

Stay tuned and share your thoughts! In finding yourself, you will find your bliss. There is only one You!

Wise words from Osho

Ultimately, each of us must develop within ourselves the capacity to make our way through the darkness without any companions, maps or guide.

Osho  

Waiting for Better

This is for you. 

Letting time pass to set a history is a good thing. Invariably the good people will stay good, and those that are not will also be revealed. But waiting and waiting can be just an avoidance that creates deeper pain. We say we want to be happy but remain in situations that we know prevent us from being so? It is honorable to give someone the benefit of the doubt, no one wants to be judged by one single act. However, we are sometimes so stuck, so paralyzed by our fear of the unknown that we cannot move out of a situation that does not honour ourselves.

We put up, and we shut up. 

Life has a way of teaching us the lessons we need. We will each get them to teach us in the way that matters most, the inconsiderate "friend", a (lack of a better term) crazy partner, an idiot boss. What will we let that person get away with? Why do we let them do what they do? The nonsense this person hands out will keep escalating until even you can't ignore the volume. The cosmic 2 by 4 will finally stop you in your tracks.

Then one day, you will know with no doubt in your mind that you are “done”. It could be caused by something catastrophic or something small, but it will happen when you are ready and have the courage to move on.

Have faith, you will survive. You will no longer be able to deny the proof.

And on that day, you will love yourself a little more and not let it happen again. Don't lose yourself in the battle and until then be safe, be well.

Today I am Brave Enough

Several months ago, I wrote the piece below. It is accurate. It has taken months for me to be able to open my heart and share this. I write today to give thanks to all those who surrounded my daughter and myself, who comforted and held us up in thought and prayer and whispered in our ears when we needed it most.

We celebrated an early Christmas present this year, my child is 6 months cancer-free. I thank all of you who stood beside us through this journey, and did not retreat because of your own fears.

April 19th
Today I became the Mom of a child with cancer
Today my child faced her mortality
with the few words spoken by a family doctor
Today my child cried in fear
Today I cannot cry
I wrap myself in a shawl of solitude
I speak quietly, I pray for courage
I am in slow motion, in drowning waters
I plan, then I pray some more.

Today I will remember forever
Then Day 1 will be done
and Tomorrow will be different.