Thursday, December 5, 2013

Time to Turn the Page

As the year draws to a close, perhaps you are reflecting on the days that have passed in 2013. Hopefully, you will find some things that you can congratulate yourself on. It could be a new skill you learned, a book you finally finished, or a course you took, we all have something that shines out in the last eleven months. We need to bask in the joy of a good job done. There are also the experiences that cropped up that could have figuratively thrown us up against a wall.

In my conversations around the staff room table and with other close friends, we all realized the same thing. We all have patterns and the joy of breaking through them is also worthy of celebration! The past eleven months have surely given us some experiences that still haunt us. If we have not learned some strategies of coping with the aggravating things in our life, they will keep occurring. Oh sometimes, they come in different forms and disguises but they push our unresolved button.

Your life might feel like it is consumed by running after a friend, family member, colleague, boss or neighbour. You are counted on to put out their fires/solve their problems/come to their aid because of their procrastination or lack of preparation. We then need to use these last few days of 2013 to initiate a new approach. Because if we don’t, we will see this same problem occurring again.

Here are a few tips to encourage a resolution:

Don’t react, reflect first. Funny how taking a few breaths can change our reaction.
Talk to a trusted friend. Listen to them for their honesty in helping you deal with your recurring experiences.
Stop and recreate your concerns from the other person’s perspective. Darn it, this is a difficult one.
What is it that you do that keeps this dilemma active?
Finally. Be honest, be kind, speak your truth. Be aware that the recipient might not be ready to hear your words. Honour yourself, no one is required to be treated badly, don’t allow it.

As a very wise person recently reminded me, all you can do is change yourself. So learn a new way of dealing with “your button”, change the dynamic and watch your relationship evolve.

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