Tuesday, June 13, 2017

I’m Sorry, and I Really Have to Say This, Thanks

We are constantly saying Sorry. Do we mean it, and if so there shouldn’t really be a need for a second apology for the same offense? Right?

I'm Sorry, and Thanks. Pixabay Courtesy of Ben_Kerckx

We say Sorry in a hundred different ways. Sorry I took the last piece of banana loaf but... Sorry I was late but... Sorry I spent the money but... Why do people add the “But”? Please don’t justify. Please don’t make excuses. Please explain WHY you’re Sorry.

Like many of you reading this, I learned about the shallowness of Sorry for a long period of my life. If you’ve ever been the recipient of this kind of Sorry, you too will remember those circumstances. Many times you would have heard it through the speaker’s bashfulness, their tears, their supposed remorse.

Yes, there are people who feel that their Sorry is all that's needed.

That you will just accept it. But what happens when this Sorry is habitual, used daily? What happens to you when you know that it is shallow?

Depending on your situation, what you eventually hear is this “blablablabla”. Until the next time when the offender strikes out with their words, their fists, their distance, their addictions. You cannot reach them because their Sorry is their armour. In their minds, they have apologized.

There’s a wide chasm between the little sorry ( I’ll take this opportunity to apologize for stepping in front of you in line, I should have been paying attention) and the big Sorry (I spent the grocery money, we’re eating peanut butter sandwiches again for dinner.)

But watch out for the sneaky little sorry or the non-existent acknowledgement which can be even worse. This is when you just saved your colleague’s butt because of their typo on the company website, or you remind someone what they were responsible for at the next sales meeting. And they can't get their mouths to say “oh! Thanks, I messed up”. 

Three little ideas that will change our life (and those around us).
  • Say Sorry like we mean it, acknowledge what we could have done differently. That's the value of a real Sorry.
  • When we say Sorry, don't add...but
  • Do our best not to repeat.

We'll all gain.

Thanks for reading.

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