Finding your Integrity Advantage

Some years ago I facilitated a group of people who were facing their impending divorce. Most had been battered through the results of living in an environment that did little or nothing to uphold who they were inside. They had lost themselves through the continuous assault of catering to someone else's wishes.

Surround yourself with integrity-minded 

“they are your champions and recognize that you being in your integrity 

is not only in your highest good, but will benefit the world as well 

because they know that you (and they) 

are here for something much bigger than yourself".  
Kelley Kosow

One day I took them through an exercise of recognizing their worth. It went like this.


Think of someone you treasure.
On this slip of paper, write down how much this person means to you and something you love about them.
Picture them in their happiest moments, doing something they love to do.
Now tell them why they are so special to you.

No one had trouble writing. They smiled, they scribbled, they asked for more paper.

And then I asked them to Be Still. And to read that same message to themselves.

Silence. Shock. Struggle. Tears.


Why is it that we can so easily recognize how someone else shines in their life? How we can value their strengths, their humour, their "specialness"? But doing that for ourselves does not come easily?

I have just finished reading The Integrity Advantage: Step into Your Truth, Love Your Life, and Claim Your Magnificence. This book tells us a whole lot of what we already know, but don't choose to do.

It asks us to examine our habits, our thoughts, the stories about our past and to think about the language we use in each moment. It asks us to be open to the Universe.

When we ask, we transform from limited to limitless. Kelley Kosow (Click to Tweet)

So I ask you this, be bold and look beyond your fear. Take a step today to being the magnificent person that you are. Don't do a "should". Create consciously. You are not a victim.

If you are ready to find You, this book could change your life.

Are you aware enough to recognize your worth? (Click to Tweet)

The Integrity Advantage
Kelley Kosow

Difficult Question

Someone turned to me today and asked me a very difficult question. It doesn’t matter if this person was 16 or 36, because we’ve all experienced what this person was going through. The question was, How do you do the right thing when you know the other person is wrong?

Difficult Question

When you are young, you still believe that making the right decision will become easier. You maybe even think that you won’t be called upon to make these decisions anymore as a grown-up. And that’s where we are wrong! People around us will often choose differently than we would, they may exercise their authority/size/strength/status to do what we consider wrong. They might feel that they have a legitimate reason/excuse and sometimes it is just to prove that they can “get away with it”.

Life is long, I said to the person who turned to me today. We will never quite know if our good example has any long term weight. We can also pretty well count on not being congratulated daily for being the bigger person. All we have is the knowledge that we did the best we could. When someone attempts to take advantage of their “larger” position, all you need to do is hold strong to who you are.

You might never get the satisfaction of seeing your offender get what they are due. We need to accept this, but not lose ourself in the experience. Patience does indeed become easier.

Because at the end of the day, all you have is yourself. Life is not for sissies! 

Doing the right thing is hard business. Many will fall by the wayside due to their own needs and fears. It can be exhausting, it can scare you into a dark corner. But where the two lines meet, you have a choice.

Doing the right thing is not easy, it takes stamina and practise. But it is leading you to higher ground where you can be proud of your behaviour. And from there you will be able to see who you need to surround yourself with and who you need to stay away from.

Making the harder decision makes you stronger. (Click to Tweet)

Where the two lines meet, you have a choice. (Click to Tweet)