Candles and Cake

When a birthday creeps up, memories can’t be far behind:

Of birthdays forgotten or lost in the shuffle of everyday life

Of selling a bike you’d won to pay for your child’s birthday party

Of reminiscing about old friends and the birthdays you've shared

Of the young man who crashed your 16^th birthday and took your life on a path for many years.

Birthdays make you different inside, if you do more than just eat cake.

Birthdays have the power to make you stop and reflect:

Of what you’ve accomplished and what still lies outside of your reach.

To dream of future plans and how you’ll get there

To remember places you’ve seen this past year

And people who have come into your life

Of the passing of time, the unstoppable speediness of time.

Birthdays if you are fortunate, give you the wisdom to realize

the determination that is required to savour each moment, until the next one.

Thank you for not dying on my birthday, Dad

Thank you for not dying on my birthday, Dad
That really would have sucked
I know that you were probably hanging on
To make it, to see me turn 18
But you didn’t.

Thank you for not dying on birthday
There are other ones that I remember well
When we got along
Spent time together
When you taught me to ride my bike
Took me swimming and camping with the Scouts.

Then I got older, and you got sicker
And I continued
I said “no” when you wanted to go for a biking weekend
I said “no” when you wanted to take me out for dinner (in public)
I’ll never get to say “no” again.

Because yesterday you died
And for a brief moment, I thought to myself
I won’t have to lift you again from your bed
Help cut your food, because everything you saw was fuzzy
I won't have to ignore it when you bark in frustration.

But that moment has passed
And I miss you already
And tomorrow on my birthday and never again
Will I get the chance to say “yes”.