Be Still My Mind

There's a man in my Friday night yoga class who reminds me of my old friend Dan.

I don't know his name and I don't need to. He looks sort of like Dan, speaks in a careful, unassuming way and then when you are least expecting it, will let a wickedly hilarious remark just slide in.

I remember my teenage days with my friend Dan, while we each navigated our way into adulthood. Now we live on opposite sides of the country and our paths seldom cross without emails rapidly flying back and forth in the planning.

We met some years ago in Vancouver, together with another friend Eddy, who was up from Petaluma. Together for a few days, we walked along the sea-wall, stopped for endless cups of decaf coffee (for Dan), had sushi, and talked, photographed and laughed. They humoured me by eating as many meals as possible out-doors. I ate a lot of fish that weekend, I who had escaped the cold dreary March in my home town.

At a wedding, I introduced Eddy to the girl who would become his wife. I wonder where Dan's wife is working right now. Was it Cats, that she'd danced in?

Breathe slowly, in and out, stop thinking, in and out. Stop my monkey mind, too much coffee today.

Another time, we met in Montreal, and drank draft at the pub which was down the street from our high school. How do so many decades go by so quickly? There were a few of us, old friends joining together in an informal reunion of sorts. Catching up with the present, reminiscing of the past. Remembering how it was one of us who instigated the petition to allow the wearing of jeans to school.

He even looks like Dan from behind. Stop it, breathe slowly, in and out, stop thinking.

Some years later, Dan stepping off the train in red pants. College days of him throwing his head back while he had a good laugh.

And all this happened in my head even before the three beautiful OOOMMMs that started our class.

Funny how familiarity beckons us. Unsuspecting we are and eager to follow our thoughts down the rabbit hole.