A young person I know is in the midst of a life-changing decision right now. When he and his wife agreed to parenthood, it was at his impetus. He was the nurturer, she the go-getter. She out-earned him, out-talked him, out-socialized him; they agreed that he was the more suitable parent at home. He has juggled his own creative pursuits part-time and raised two well-behaved toddlers most of the time.
For several years this has worked but here’s the life-changing decision they’re facing now, he wants to step out of the kitchen and the proverbial frying pan. His started-at-the-kitchen-table-between-children’s-naps-business is showing immense growth and potential. His wife needs a change too and is eager and willing to give up her frequent travelling and expense account. They have both however grown accustomed to their roles and don’t get me wrong, they love each other, want a future together and want the best for their children. They are in heavy duty negotiations on their new roles and responsibilities.
They are both also aware that they have spent the last few years making decisions that will need to be revised to choose something new. What will they choose now? How will each of them create a new “Me” to fulfill their new version of “Us”. It is difficult enough to find what makes you happy to your core, now they are both doing this simultaneously. Their late nights now are filled with excel spreadsheets(she) and coloured diagrams (he) with hopes of hammering out a deal that will be beneficial to both.
But what they both know is that the final decisions that will make this successful, will be the ones that come from the heart.