Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Relationship 2 by 2 or on Your Own

How do we learn about relationship? Life throws us curve balls, and many of us have phases of solitary growth, and still we learn about relationship. Picture this.

Happy End
You met at some point recently or long ago and you fit. And during your time together you learn about what you like and what you don’t  like. Your partner teaches you in big and small ways about what makes you sigh with happiness and hopefully in equal part about what you need to do to support them in their journey.

So it was just my story in Relationship is not a Secret, when I assumed that this couple had been together for decades. Perhaps they were on their first date! It is merely how I see the world.

Long But Gone
You have had a long time relationship which ended because of (fill in the blank). Here are a few of the possible reasons, infidelity, boredom on one or both sides, or a poor match from the start. Some of your days were long and painful, or one or both of you buried your head in the sand and grew to
believe that this was just the way everyone's life is. Nobody’s life is perfect you thought, and nothing changed until one or both decided.

Flying Solo
You prefer your time/space/vacations on your own. You get to do what you want, when you want, and eat cereal for dinner just because you feel like it. You can work on your current project until 1am, because the juices are flowing and sleep in until (fill in the blank). You are not judged for your fashion sense, your religious beliefs/non-beliefs or your current eating style. You can go to yoga every day or wear the same pair of sweat pants every evening after work that you’ve had since (fill in the blank).

Unhappy? to the Bitter End
We all know them. Couples who stay together because that’s just the way it is. One has perhaps outgrown the other in their (fill in the blank). Well it could be just about anything, let’s try career/fitness/enlightenment/courage/responsibility or bank account. But still they remain. What are they learning by staying together? Resilience/faith/kindness/patience or what they believe they deserve?

Our lives are rich with experience, they are complex, and they always teach us something. Our days weave between having too much time alone/together/being unhappy until we are able to get clear with ourselves. What do you really want?

Each of these  scenarios involve choices. If one phase comes and goes, what did it leave behind in your thinking. Are you a better person for it? Did you become more self-sufficient? More caring? More aware of your contribution to the world?

You might be learning two by two or you might be learning on your own. Whatever your scenario is at the moment, whatever you feel about it, you are learning about relationship. Give yourself some credit.

The question only you can answer though is always the same. Are you taking responsibility for your own life?

The question is always the same. Are you taking responsibility for your own life? (Click to Tweet) 

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