If I Were Looking for a Friend, I'd look for Someone like You

I was walking by a school playground the other day and saw two young girls re-unite. “I’ve missed you”, yelled one as they ran towards each other with open arms. Do you remember those days? When your best friend’s family holiday destroyed your precious life, because you missed each other SO much. And when you met again, it was as though you had received the best gift of all.

courtesy Pixabay

  At some point along the way, we might have stopped looking for that friend   who filled every crevice of our soul with warmth. Perhaps as we grew older,   our capacity for that open-hearted embrace diminishes. We’ve been   tarnished sometimes over the years with disappointments and hurt and are a   little more cautious with new people entering our life.

  But…

  If I were Looking for a Friend...

I remember people older than me saying how it gets more difficult to make a friend as you get older. I used to think that was nonsense, until recently. Perhaps that means that I am at that age.

Maybe I am getting too stuck in my ways, in my opinions, in what I like and what I just can’t tolerate anymore. Maybe I was nicer when I was younger. Maybe I was filling my life with people, to learn what I could grow from, who had something to teach me, maybe that is why I needed to be around certain people.

I wrote about Give and Take recently. Putting those words down brought up memories of what I should have done in the past. How I should have been treated, how I should have questioned, how I should have known. I want a friend who gets that. I want a friend who has climbed some tough terrain to get to a vantage point that has a view. Someone who is still striving to get higher in their own understanding of the world.

I do not want a friend who is coasting and is merely a spectator to their own life, nor someone who has no rudder and is tossed about like empty change. I need someone who is strong and is not afraid to show it. Someone who knows that each passing day was spent wisely, always a combination of expanding and reflecting.

If this person drinks wine, likes reading, walking and shopping (within reason) bonus points!

I want someone to grow old with. Someone who will say, remember when we met at 60 and look how much we’ve done since then. That’s the friend for me. Someone who still paints their toenails red. Someone who wears pearl necklaces with jeans and feels fabulous. Someone who will enrich my life and who is content with their partner. Someone who is proud of how their grown children turned out but doesn’t have to talk to them every day.

Someone who can be tastefully disrespectful and can enjoy being silly.

And what can I offer you, you ask? I will never betray your confidence. I will cheer you up and kick your butt depending on what you need. I will bake you brownies. And bring the wine. I will always tell you the truth, and expect the same.

I have been blessed with many amazing women (and men) friends over my life-time. People who have grown alongside me, who have set the most courageous examples, who have shown stamina and resilience and continue to wrap their arms around me with love. If you are reading this, even if I met you over a coffee yesterday or talked to you via Skype last week or haven't seen you in a while, “I’ve missed you.”

We have lived well and badly, and have not lost the lesson. (Click to Tweet)

I want a friend who has climbed some tough terrain to get to a vantage point that has a view. (Click to Tweet)