Read and Enjoy - Highlights of 2015

Thank you loyal, global readers for sticking by me while I was on my self-imposed hiatus.

I feel that a heartfelt "I'm sorry for abandoning you" is due and hope that you will accept my words. I will be sharing my December journey with you over the next few weeks. Hint: Facing tough questions about time and a commitment to continue on my path as a writer.

For now, for reading, for re-reading and (please!) for sharing, my most popular posts of 2015:

How do you edit Life - when you're a writer? - ah, what better gift for a writer? Living, writing, and the difficulty of deleting because it all makes up your Life as a Writer. Every bit and piece that gets stored away for the perfect story.

 

Elite Feet - We don't all walk in their shoes. But we do walk in our own. We do not know the impact we have on others, because as we stride through our days we are not always aware...

Don't Give it Away

Anything or anyone 
that does not bring you alive is too small for you.

David Whyte

Your body knows it before your mind. Something is just not right. You've spent the evening with an old friend and you're glad the night is over. You've felt this way before but you've ignored it. She interrupts you, and doesn't listen. She is headstrong and laughs off your comments.You've told yourself all the reasons that justify how you feel (we are so good at blaming ourselves), but each time you have trouble shaking off the feeling. And each time it gets harder.

You're sitting in an event that is boring you silly. You've doodled in your notebook, made up stories in your mind of the other participants, heck, you've even written out your to-do list for the next week. And still the voices drone on, blah, blah, blah.

Why do we put up with it?  

Well, she's an old friend. She's been through some hard times. Yes, but does she respect your voice? Will she support you in your dreams? What are you given for the price of your friendship?

What would people think if I got up and left this presentation? Wouldn't I look rude? Yes, some people would think that way but does it really matter? Do you think that there could be others in the audience that feel the same way and would also like to escape?

Choices

Each day we encounter experiences that give us a choice. Do we honour ourselves, put a value on our time, speak up about who or what is not giving us the comfort we deserve? 

Making the decision that brings us happiness is not selfish, it is about self-love. It is about taking care of ourselves so we can spend our lives doing the things that matter the most to us.

What are you given for the price of your friendship? (Click to tweet)

What’re you selling Girl?

Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got.

Janis Joplin

In one of my many roles, I meet young women looking to improve themselves. Sometimes, they arrive in tank tops, that leave little to the imagination. Sometimes, they arrive in shortie shorts that only in recent years were only shown off at a beach. And because of their manner and the way they are presenting themselves, I worry.
 

I want to tell them things from my almost-60 year old self, things I've learned along the way. Most are good girls, they are doing what everyone else is doing, what they see in store windows, in magazines and on television. But when did it become okay to ask for attention in such a blatant way? And what exactly are they asking for? Do they see their body as their commodity?

commodity

[kuh-mod-i-tee] /kəˈmɒd ɪ ti/

1. an article of trade or commerce, especially a product as distinguished from a service.

2. something of use, advantage, or value.

3. a quantity of goods.

4. a good or service whose wide availability typically leads to smaller profit margins and diminishes the importance of factors other than price

5. one that is subject to ready exchange or exploitation within a market 

The body is a beautiful thing. We are meant to take care of it, nourish it, and do what we can to keep it healthy but I don’t believe that we are to worship it in front of a mirror of strangers.

What can we share with these young women from the lessons we've learned? It is our obligation and privilege to pass on our lessons to them by example. Here are just a few of my thoughts.

Cultivate a good heart, it will bring you lots of attention because people will notice it. Your heart will expand in promise as time goes on..

Learn compassion, there is nothing more attractive than kindness. When you aim to be kind every day it becomes a habit, one that you don’t want to break.

Learn something each day. Read books of all kinds, ask questions of anyone who interests you, look things up on the internet. Knowledge is invigorating.

Get an education, in something. Strive to be a master of something you love to do. Having the confidence that you can survive on your own, will prevent you from making choices because you have no money. Always know that you don’t have to settle.

Share. Your smiles, your wealth, your enthusiasm, your courage, your strength. You might be surprised what you get back from the act of giving. And when it feels like you have nothing to share, is the time you will reap the grandest rewards. Ask any volunteer!

Don’t give yourself away with no discrimination. Your thoughts, your feelings, your secrets, are yours for a reason. Keep some things sacred. There is only one You.

Your body should be given to someone who treasures it. It has been put together with your care in each moment of your life. Don’t give it way too freely.

Your beauty is not your only commodity, make your mind and your will strong, because with time most bodies will begin to fade but your character will always keep you beautiful.


coming next week: more words about getting an education...