What’s Real?

In the Staff Room the other day we were discussing how easy it is to fall prey to spam/phishing. And that there are so many other less than honest ways that can infiltrate someone’s life and thinking.

Which then led us to open up the conversation about What’s Real? What do we absolutely know is real?

What's Real?

In this age of images enhanced by photoshop too-good-to-be-true pill promises for weight loss and youtube videos guaranteeing instant wealth, how do we tell fact from fiction? We have grown cynical, skeptical and sometimes just plain miserable.

We are inundated with experts in every imaginable field and how strange, they often know each other. They tell you the same thing but use different words. They are exuberant and yes, a wee bit exhausting. And somewhere during their podcasts/ workshops and books, we struggle to be discerning.

• Do you help the stranger standing on the side of the road, or is it a scam to steal your car?

• Is that orange juice really 100% pulp free as the advertisement says?

• Was that croissant truly baked in-house by the chef this morning?

• Are you “debt-free” if you carry a line of credit? (Yes, someone I know told me one day that she had no debt except what she had on her line of credit. We were in a public place, I was incredulous, I could not respond with what I really wanted to say.)

But most importantly, because our judgement has been skewed, because we have been deceived in the past, or because our intuition has not been flexed recently, do we trust ourselves?

Can we confidently know that it is an authentic friendship, true love, or real parmigiana-reggiano cheese? Are we always second guessing ourselves?

How do we know that the friendship or love will survive in heated times, and that your 100% real cheese will melt with heat the way that it’s meant to.

Do you trust your experts or do you flex your intuition? (Tweet This)

What's Real, does anyone really know? (Tweet This)

 *This one’s for you G. My true friend and love who favours real cheese every time.
 

We'll Never Be on One of Those House Hunting Shows

We'll never be on one of those house hunting shows. We are just too boring.

We don't fight. We agree about most things. We certainly wouldn't go on a show to then discover that one of us liked colonial and the other prefers shaker.

We don't expect to find our Dream Home, because as we know, Life Happens and you just have to deal with it. The years have told us to enjoy what we have because there is absolutely no sense in seeking perfection.

Courtesy Pixabay - Efraimstochter

We don't need a dining table that can hold fourteen because it's hard enough with our family to get even two of the children over at a time, never mind four. None of them have a Dream Home either by the way.

We know what we want, and if need be, we will wait for it. Our budget is not elasticized. We value comfortabe furniture  and experiences, pretty simple right? Maybe we are just of a generation that is used to waiting for things.

Oh and we don't have meltdowns due to disappointment. No, we will never be on a house hunting show, we are just not that entertaining.

Although we watch, we talk a lot to the participants! "Are you really surprised that what you want costs more than you're willing to spend?" "Being within walking distance to  the fancy coffee and dinner spots is bound to have a hefty price attached to it." "Yes, sometimes there's mildew and an unexpected bat that flies out of the attic." 

Why are so many people looking for their Dream Home?

Perhaps we already have it. Maybe instead of house hunting, we need to devote more time to understanding each other, to expect less, to enjoy our time together more. When the family comes over, it doesn't matter if someone eat at the breakfast bar or from their lap!

The Joneses are not your friend, you don't need to impress them, they don't care.

Whatever we decide to do, let's do it for ourself. If you're anything like us, maybe all you need is a cozy place to share a conversation, look out a window at the magical world, dream, make believe, work hard, pray if you are so inclined. We can do these invaluable things anywhere!

We are all connected, let's learn from those who have so much although they appear to own so little. Because until we find what makes our life meaningful from the inside there really is no point in looking for a new house.


What you want is already here, you don't need to go house hunting. (Click to Tweet)

A Dream Home will not resolve all that you're searching for. (Click to Tweet)

Kindness Needed at Till #1

A simple task, go to the store, pick up a few things, go home. But as you know the Universe has a way of stepping in. Showing you, reminding you and giving you a chance to test out your skills.

When this post from Mindful Magazine hit my email this morning, 5 Ways to Develop Kindness and Generosity, I didn't realize how quickly I'd have a chance to use it.

What I am writing here is a little window into my day, you are able to take it any way you like (as we always do!) or you may see it as a quasi rant. It's up to you.

This went smoothly, I thought to myself as I headed to the check out. I looked around, my first time in this particular store, I gazed upwards at all the colorful hanging signs swaying with the breeze of the air conditioning. As I stepped forward to the available sales assistant, I heard a loud voice  "and then she just budges into line" said in an unfriendly tone, directed to me.

Kindness Needed at Till #1

Oh, I responded facing the mother with her two small boys. I didn't realize there was just one line. She shook her head at me. You knew exactly what you were doing, she retorted. I apologized again but she would have no part of it.

I am not one to react easily and knew that in that moment I had a choice.

Breathe. Give kindness.

She wouldn't let it go. She tisked at me as she stepped towards the baffled sales person. When she was finished, she did a dramatic hand gesture indicating that NOW it was my turn. She continued to mumble.

In the quietest voice I could muster, because I too have been a frazzled mother running errands on a hot day, I said to her your children are watching your behaviour. And they see your's too, she shot back.

I made a mistake, I said to her.She stopped.

Use this opportunity, I said to her, to teach your youngsters that everyone makes mistakes.

It is good to have weathered a few storms. It has been many years since I carted around two small, unhappy, sticky children. As time goes by it is easier to Breathe into the moment when needed. Trust me on this.

Now tell me, how did you understand this interaction? Have you had a similar experience? How did you handle it?

What are we teaching our children today? (Click to Tweet)

Use this opportunity to teach your youngsters that everyone makes mistakes. (Click to Tweet)

 

7 Discoveries on the Shady Side of the Street

7 Discoveries on the Shady Side of the Street

Living in this Northern Hemisphere, we truly appreciate the warm weather. In my hometown, we’re considered Zone 3. What that means folks is that we are joyfully living our lives where the growing season can vary between 82 and 107 days. 

Our garden plants are hardy and need to be resilient (just like we humans are) to winter temperatures that can drop to the -40 to -30F range. You can understand why we love summer when we get it!

Although we look forward to this time of year however, we are often ill prepared for the heat. That was yesterday.

After spending the day in non-air-conditioned working places many of us are worn out. But then, what do you do? Do you skip your usual after work walk? Yes, I definitely swayed in my decision but missed my intake of daily fresh air. Out I went at 7:30pm to get in my kilometres.

Walking on the shady side of the street gave me a different experience. I followed a route in my neighbourhood in the opposite direction than I usually take. Crossing at times to stay out of the still blazing sunshine.

Forever-Vacation

Do you notice how when you know that you are heading away from your work-life, the everyday frustrations seem larger than usual? How the erratic driver in front of you makes you utter unusual words or make you raise your hand with some fingers raised? How your clients/students/coworkers and even strangers tire you endlessly? Why do we wish our life away to get what we could have everyday?

Why do we turn off our nice button because we know that we are getting away? We are in such a rush to leave our regular lives, that we are missing the days in-between.

The joy of escape is so large that we can't wait for something better.

Rewind. Start again.

How would we feel if we saw each day as a vacation? Each moment to experience with clear eyes the beauty in front of us. Pause to see the unexpected, capture the feelings in our heart to re-live again, slow down, talk, breathe, share. See the sunshine and the rain, the quiet and the speed, the kind and the rushed as something that must be experienced to have a full and rich life.

If we all worked together to adopt the feeling of relaxation, of being on forever-vacation, wouldn't we all be happier?

Mindful Moment

Don’t you just love it when you’re thinking of an old friend and they call you up?

Or when you’re feeling a little hungry and someone arrives at your desk with a bag of cookies?

Don’t you wonder how this happens, that you feel a need, you put in your order and it arrives?

Don’t question it, just let it unfold.

Be certain that you are clear in what you need (which is not necessarily what you want!)

Then leave it alone,

Trust

Be mindful.

And let it happen.

Dan Bowman Productions, Bhutan