It's Not the Time to Be Shamed

As everyone around us presses Pause, wouldn't it be a good time to stop comparing ourselves to others? It's not the time to be shamed.

We get this time to examine where we are in our lives and where we might be headed and not necessarily to gallop full-speed ahead. Over the last several weeks we've grown to understand that the changes that are coming are still out of sight, they are just beyond the next corner. But they will come.

It's Not the Time to Be Shamed

We don't know what Life is going to look like, and neither does anyone else. Not me, not you, not the smartest person you know.


Comparing ourselves to others has become commonplace. It is everywhere we have looked and perhaps if we are fortunate that's going to change. 

We've grown accustomed to so many questions of comparison. How far did you run, how fast did you go, where is your next holiday? How to get 2 million followers in 3 days, or how to lose 20 pounds over a weekend. It goes on and on. And most of it is so far-fetched and yet we still fall for its promise.

We want it. We want it fast.

Well right now, nothing is happening fast and it's annoying us, scaring us, confusing us. But. But. But, we say. (Tweet This)

It's Not the Time to Be Shamed

We have been trained in the last several years to compare ourselves to everyone around us in the most unhealthy of ways. And maybe now we can stop. Let's agree to not be shamed.

We only have so many starry nights left.

from Dan

Comparison is a slippery slope into despair, into shaming ourselves when we hear what other folks are supposedly doing. (Tweet This)


Just so you know, I am not learning a new language, or writing a novel, nor will I emerge from this time slot as an expert on any one subject, in fact I am still not an expert on anything. 

I hope however, that I am better at a few important things, wiser about how my mind works, more forgiving and less concerned about what doesn't matter in my life. This Pause has allowed me to focus, to understand a little bit more of what to leave behind.


So here's to freeing ourselves from who we thought we were. To seeing our world as the friendly, kind place it should be. To letting go of the expectations for accomplishing something every minute of every day or otherwise feeling bad.

Let's be humble, let's be real, let's fail at something, let's bake and paint and draw and make music. Let's take a nap. Let's cut ourselves a little slack. Because we deserve it. (Tweet This)

I have left the dust on the furniture for the last week and as a friend of mine exclaimed "I didn't know that being messy is so much fun".

In the coming days let's be humble, let's be real, let's fail at something. Let's not compare. (Tweet This)


Now tell me, what will you leave behind?



Stay safe, stay kind.

Let it Alone

A man is rich in proportion to the number of things

which he can afford to let alone.

Thoreau

If we were more conscious of our Things, Emotions, Judgments, and Comparisons who could we be?

our Things

What do we keep? A common question when cleaning out our basement, garage or the home of the deceased. What the heck is important to me? Our task then becomes a combination of dust and sweat and a walk down memory lane. Why do we have all this stuff?

Let it Alone: Things, Emotions, Judgments, Comparison

When we decide however to not bring these items into our dwelling, when we have paused long enough to say “No, I don’t need this” or “let me think about it” we have chosen to increase the value of our belongings. Our cluttered shelves and closets, our arrangement of knick-knacks, and boxes of old photos and trophies have the ability to keep us tied to who we once were. They could even be blocking your path to whom we are on the way to becoming. Too many things slowed down the progress of the settlers travelling to new lands even back then.

If you had one trunk to take on your voyage, how would you choose? And then halfway to your destination, you were told to skinny up those choices, what would you then decide?

Once there was a man that had to leave his home quickly, his caregiver had died. This man packed his belongings in one box. Clean socks, a few pairs of jeans, a t-shirt or two. He walked out the door unencumbered. He was ready to start a new adventure. I saw it with my own eyes.

If only it were that easy, you think. Right?

Some of us have hobbies we will get to someday, items that we might need down the road and stored items of grown children. We comfort ourselves with these things. Why are we afraid to let go of them? We use these Things as an excuse to not look at our Now. Leave the accumulation of things alone.

our Emotions

I should be angrier, she said to me. I should just hate him for what he did to me. But I cannot. I cannot give him more of my energy, my life, my heart. She told me this and she could be anyone you know. She could be speaking of her father who ignored and then disowned her, she could be referring to her step-brother who was a little too touchy. She might be speaking about her neighbour who has late into the night parties or the volunteer leader who always knows best.

What she decided though was to move on. To leave it behind, she would not make it a part of her future story. Not easy right? But she got to choose. Only she was in charge of how she would feel. What she chose was to be Brave, to trust that she had been given a lesson. She would not give away her control to someone else. And hence the petty small office gossip and the loud abrasive person in line at the movie theatre did not enter her. She let it go because she’d been practising all this time.

Emotions will come and go. Release the ones that don’t heal you. (Tweet This) Leave the emotions alone.

Comparison will Make You Unhappy

Comparison will Make You Unhappy

We are each running our own race! Sometimes we put on our running shoes but most often we do it in our everyday clothes. We get up each day and do the best we can. Usually.

And when we look at our neighbour or our colleague we always have to remember that comparison to our fellow traveller will make you unhappy. There will always be someone who makes more money, lives in a bigger house and is better looking. Honestly, that is just a fact. I could tell you to stop looking around but that would be ridiculous because we all love to compare.

We do it even in our yoga class, even on a treadmill, even on the highway driving home.

If you read my words elsewhere, you will know that I have just completed my 20th half-marathon. I figure that's not too bad for someone who pulled on a pair of running shoes at passed the 55-year mark. Certainly, I've lived my life quite convinced that I am not an athlete.

And for some of you who find that number impressive, there are many others who do this kind of thing on a regular basis. It's no big deal.