An Intervening Space - Gap

There are several people in my life right now, who are waiting for this year to end. 

Have we not all had years like that? A period of time that was filled with so many life lessons that you felt that someone high above was pointing at you, allowing bad things to happen.

You hear a voice that thunders: I will take you apart piece by piece to see if you can survive.


Leave me alone, you cry out loud. 
Pick on someone else, you shout back (even though you know that isn't the kindest thing to do, you can't help it). 
You feel like you might be drowning.


A year that has held loss for two of my closest, poor health for others, the ending of a marriage, the loneliness of accumulated choices.

We all need an intervening space, we want our situation to end, but how? We all want calm.

This time of celebration for many can be the most difficult for some. It is not all ho-ho-ho. (Tweet This)

For some of us who have made it through with a minimum of disruption, many moments of happiness, and privy to good physical and mental health, let us remember...

the years that we couldn't wait to end
the sadness that many have wrapped around their hearts
the possibility of sharing what we have experienced
the one moment we can always afford to give

Doing it without hesitation, without expecting any reward (or their acceptance of our words).

Give the gift of an Intervening Space. A gap that is safe.
(Tweet This)

Please turn to your local mental health provider if you are in need of An Intervening Space. 

Put on Your Cape

You have a superpower. I know you do, I've glimpsed it every once in awhile. It might be your warped sense of humour or your laser-like focus when completing a task. And although most of us are shy to disclose it to the world, we are most ourselves when we are using our superpower.

Put on Your Cape, Pixabay Ben_Kerckx

For some strange reason, we are hesitant to talk about it because we feel that we will be labelled as "full of ourselves". Sometimes, we are just plain afraid to shine. We forget that this is our gift to give the world.

This morning as I left for my morning walk, I met my neighbour. You might remember him from Being Alone, Not Being Lonely. He is now 93 years old and he greeted me with "It's a beautiful morning, isn't it?" I'm out for my walk, he said. So am I, I replied.

In that brief instance I thought to myself, where will I be at 93? Will I still be committed, like my handsome neighbour, to start my day with a walk. To overlook my aches and pains and head out into the sunshine?

Changing not Exchanging

Dear Friends,

What gift will we exchange this year?

Give me the gift of your time, that's all I want. We don't need to talk about the crazy people you work with and what you'd really like to say to them or the latest buzz in the entertainment world. Let's talk about our friendship.

Let's talk about what we'd like to bring into our lives in the coming months. We have all lost something this year, let's not make this a brag fest.

Let's not meet where it's noisy and we have to shout above the forced office parties, where other people are glancing at their watches planning a quick get-a-way. (And none of us can remember when our hearing was better.)

Please don't feel like we need to squeeze in a dinner during these busy weeks ahead, we could wait until later to have a real conversation when we are all more relaxed, less stressed and not too confused.

Let's do something different and just bring ourselves when we meet. Let's face each other and share our experiences of the months gone by.Tell me about You.

Give me the gift of your time, that's all I want. Let's remind eachother why we're Friends.

Buttons and Bows

The return to work, feeling groggy and fuzzy-brained after the holidays, should not be a surprise. We've experienced early mornings (got to get to the ski hill/shopping mall sales) and late nights being social. It's no wonder that it's taken me until today (Wednesday) to start to feel more like myself. Tonight's goal - put away the remainder of the Christmas "stuff". Won't my space seem huge after the clean up is done.

If you've been as fortunate as me, after you've put away the fancy boxes and packaged the bows (for use next year), you're left facing some brand new toys. Each one with instructions in various languages, English will do, thank you. Which one do I tackle first?

Am I the only one who needs one more week of time off to read through, practise, and play to feel more comfortable with these gifts? Why are there now so many buttons, screens and dials in my life?

I am excited but cautious about the learning I will be doing.

I remember a 2-wheeler with a big red bow and a wobbly start. I have to have faith that my camera and e-book reader will ultimately become a part of me just like my bike did after a few crashes and skinned knees.

There was no such thing as helmets back then, but today at least my toys come with user manuals.

Transparent Houses - 5

Grace was disappointed that the film presentation she had been looking forward to all week had been postponed. Had the film not arrived? Had the gallery's technology broken down? Was there a copyright law that had not been adhered to? What would she do with this "extra" time until her next appointment?

As an apology, the gallery had handed out small gift bags with (of course!) advertising material. However, hanging from the rope handle was a small ornament. Grace exclaimed at the ornament and was told that it came from the shop next door.

She side-stepped around a woman who was standing intently looking at the shop window and was almost run over by a man in jeans. He was wielding what appeared to be a cast iron obelisk through the doorway. How brave he was, taking such a weighty object into a space with such fragile things. Grace moved the gift bag to her other hand and held the door as he squeezed by. All she noticed was the size of his hands.

Once inside she was halted in awe by what she saw. How fortunate that she had stopped inside this shop that she had never ventured in before. What delight to see the array of colours, matte and shiny, in a variety of styles and shapes tucked into every available nook and cranny that could be found.  Looking upwards, Grace felt euphorically light-headed seeing the reflections of everything that dangled.

As Grace faced in each direction, she felt like she had as a small child in her Grandfather's house. How the mosaic floor, could make you giddy when you twirled yourself at high speed. A childhood prelude to having "one too many" in later youthful experiences with cheap red wine. As she faced the front window, she saw that the woman was still there. Like she herself, had stopped time in a bottle.

There was one instant when the sun shone through and lit on the same star hanging in the window that Grace had been given with her gift bag. The woman outside was transfixed, and a slow tear stopped on her cheek and her face broke into a dawning smile. She had received an answer.

Merrick left behind his newest creation for consignment with the staff and scooped the star ornament in his paw. His niece would like this. Now, he was done his shopping.

She was still there, like she herself had stopped time in a bottle. (Click to Tweet)

For the rest of The Little Story, read here. 

Watch for the Time - is there Ever Enough?

Like many of my generation, we count first and spend second. We were raised by parents who worked hard to accumulate and did not have access to a credit card. Did you know that the charge card did not become well known and used in Canada until the late 1960s? Can you imagine how many dollars sat hidden under mattresses until then?

When I saw the watch that I had been coveting, on a 30% off sale, my heart started to flutter. There is nothing quite as alluring as “the hunt”, it is my feeble attempt at beating the system. Yes, darn it all, I am a rule-follower (for the most part). 

Once a deal is spotted, what happens to you? Is there a voice that says “do it!”, or like most of us is there a trail of big and little voices playing in our heads? Do you hear, “what do you need that for?”, “are you sure you can afford it?”, and sometimes most loudly “do you deserve it?” The echoes of all these voices can continue in varying volumes depending on circumstance.

Then the next phase began. Instinct one: see if my children will share the cost and give it to me for Christmas. Yes, denial to deserve raised its ugly head. Maybe sharing the guilt would make it easier, I could justify the “gift”. Instinct two: consider it my own Christmas present and wait 54 days to put it on. Procrastination, maybe by then, I would feel like I deserve it. Instinct three: (in a quiet voice but certainly getting louder over the years) Wear it, love it, enjoy it. Instinct three won out and on the weekend, that watch became mine.

In light of a month that ended with several tragic accidents that took many young lives, I ponder the passage of time. The brevity of life to do the things we truly enjoy, to share our happiness with abounding joy. My heart goes out to the families of those lost and of the persons that took those lives. No one is left unscathed, just our roles differ. For an old colleague, who died quickly but not without pain, thank you Jon, for all you gave to the world.

So today, I am wearing my new watch. I have subdued the voice that said that “ I didn’t need it”, and I have opened a sufficient number of bank statements that say “I can afford it”. 

In tribute to those who will not enjoy the luxury of time, I wear a watch that will bear witness to each moment passing.